Anxiety

Strategies for coping with anxiety - updated November 2020.pdf
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Table of contents

• What is this booklet about?
• Content warning
• A message from a TeenTalker with anxiety
• What's the difference between stress and anxiety?
• What is it like to have anxiety?
• How to get a referral to mental health professional​
• Identify your triggers
• Practice healthy coping skills
• Affordable places to get art supplies
• How to tell your friends or family about your anxiety
• If they do not understand...
• Things you can say and do if someone is experiencing an anxiety attack
• Things to avoid saying or doing if someone is experiencing an anxiety attack
• How to recognize when someone you know is using unhealthy coping skills

 

What is this booklet about?
TeenTalk volunteers have created a few strategies you might find helpful during the hard times. Each volunteer at TeenTalk has their own unique story and their own personal experiences and struggles, which is what makes TeenTalk such a great resource. We are teens between the ages of 15 and 19, and we know what it’s like to face some of the same struggles. Some may have struggled with something similar to you. You are not alone and we at TeenTalk are here for you. What you will find in this "booklet" are coping strategies our TeenTalk volunteers found or have used to work through tough moments. Please note that we are teens/peers and not professionals. We have gathered ideas we think are helpful and not every suggestion will fit you and that is OK.  Use and do what is right for you!

 

Content warning: This "booklet" is intended for support and to provide suggestions around coping with difficult situations. It includes references to anxiety. If this puts you at risk of experiencing trauma, flashbacks, or any other reaction you may have to emotionally stressful subjects, consider a safety plan. Do not read this "booklet" if the subject matter puts you at risk of being triggered, or make sure to read it when you feel you are in a good place mentally and emotionally. If you do read it and find yourself having a difficult time with emotions, memories, etc. or are feeling triggered by the "booklet," look toward a good friend, family member, counselor, or the Crisis Line (1.800.626.8137) to discuss it with or try finding a good outlet like a sport, book, art, or other favorite pastime. Remember to take care of yourself as well as others!

 

A message from a TeenTalker with anxiety

"I’ve felt a lot of anxiety in my life and if you don’t take time for self-care it can make everything harder. The times I do the best in school is when I am taking care of myself because anxiety can be crippling and make it difficult to get work done when you think of all the things you have to do. It can also be hard if you have social anxiety because the longer you are away from people the more your brain can create stories and run with it. I try to volunteer several times a week so that I make sure to hang out with people even if I feel really uncomfortable talking to people. I try to do self-care, such as running and cooking healthy foods, because TV can really be a crutch and make things worse. It usually numbs rather than solves problems, at least for me. But when I take care of myself and push myself out of my comfort zone on a regular basis, I don’t feel like I am out of control and can’t handle my anxiety. It is a lot of work keeping good mental health."

 

What's the difference between stress and anxiety?

• Stress is a situational response to novel situations where you may feel heightened pressure or unstable.
• Anxiety is chronic stress over non-novel stimuli that can be over social situations, general feelings, or other everyday events. 

Stress

• Temporary
• Has an obvious cause, not random
• Has an external cause and can often be solved relatively quickly*
• ​Subsides after cause is dealt with*
• Understood by most
• Due to external stress

*MentalHealthFirstAid

Anxiety

• Little longer than temporary
• Doesn’t always have an obvious cause, might appear random
• Internal cause*
• Persists after concern has passed*
• Misunderstood by most
• ​Can come at any time for any reason

*MentalHealthFirstAid

Similarities

• Shortness of breath
• Similar physical symptoms
• Panicking
• It will pass and be OK
• Both have things you can do to cope

• Hyperventilating
• Feeling helpless
• Feeling sick
• Loss of motivation
• Messed up sleep cycle

 

What is it like to have anxiety?

• Feeling like everything and everyone is against you.
• Feeling terrified about something small.
• Feeling alone in your feelings, like no one else knows the feeling.
• It's like that moment when you're watching a horror move where you know something bad is about to happen but you're not sure what ... it's the build, but the suspense never comes.
• Constantly thinking about the future and what is next rather than living in the moment.
• It's like a piranha gnawing at your foot, but when you try to shake it off, it grows more.

Imagine being invited to a party that you’ve always wanted to go to but an hour before going you think about all the things that could go wrong and you never actually end up getting to go because you couldn’t put on your shoes and walk out the door.

Imagine wanting to go on a spring break trip to visit family but thinking about all of the details and things that need to be done to be able to go and not being able to think about it because every time you do you feel overwhelmed, and a deep sense of dread.

​Imagine you are talking to your friends and their biggest worry is their test score and reflecting on yours and having your biggest stressors be whether or not your shoes are in style or whether you should have gotten the other color, if you talked too much today or too little, if people will ask you questions that you don’t know the answer to, if you will have to call and make an appointment by phone, as well as your test grade. ​

 

How to get a referral to a mental health professional
​To get a referral, talk to your doctor. If you don’t have insurance, you might qualify for free/reduced healthcare. To see if you are eligible, you can check out Washington Health Plan Finder. However, many websites now let you do a self referral. Find a counselor and ask them what you need to do to get an appointment.

If you have Medicaid, you can go online and look for a psychologist and find one that you like that is close by. Call them to see if they have space and either do a drop-in intake or set one up with the receptionist. An intake is a first appointment so they can see who you’d possibly match well with as far as psychologist/psychiatrist and whether you are interested in group therapy, medications, etc.

 

Identify your triggers
​Some discussions, topics, life events, and things in our environment can trigger anxiety. When you're triggered, you might notice that you are overly observant and aware of your surroundings, are feeling a sense of panic in a moderately calm environment, or are feeling like you get overwhelmed and stressed easily. Sometimes it's really obvious what triggers us and sometimes it's not. ​If you don't know what's triggering your anxiety, keep a journal and write down:

• What happened right before that
• What was in your surroundings (sights, sounds, smells, tastes, textures)
• Any and all thoughts you may have been having (even trivial ones might be important)
• Any and all symptoms you had (physical or otherwise)

Review your journal often and see if you notice any patterns. That way you can make a game plan on how to either avoid those triggers or how to reduce your anxiety symptoms if you can't avoid them.

If you need a journal, you can get a free one from us!

 

Practice healthy coping skills

• Try a grounding exercise: Name 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste
• Practice some breathing exercises
• Check your surroundings and make sure you're safe
• Practice mindfulness: Stop what you’re doing, bring yourself to the present moment, focus on your thoughts and calm them
• Think of a happy place: What does it look like? What does it sound like? What does it feel like? What does it smell like?
• Slowly count down from 10
• Drink some water
• Use a squishy or fidget thing
• Do something mentally stimulating
• Step away from whatever is making you feel this way
• Get some sleep
• Lie down
• Talk to friends/use your support systems; talk to us if you need someone to talk to
• Hold something close to you, like a blanket or stuffed animal
• ​Journal (you can order a free one from us)
• Write down your thoughts to get them out of your head, allowing you to take a step back and see them as less threatening

• Write a story
• Question your thought pattern: Challenge negative thoughts and see if they’re really true
• Watch something funny
• Cry
• Hang out with your pet
• Listen to music
• Take a shower or a bath
• Talk yourself through it
• Repeat a phrase, such as "I am brave. I am strong. I am enough."
• Exercise: Even going for a walk or doing yoga can help you focus on your body and take your mind off of whatever might be giving you anxiety
• Try aromatherapy: Using oils, incense, or candles with relaxing scents like lavender, chamomile, or sandalwood can activate certain brain receptors to ease anxiety
• Make some art (paint, sketch, draw, sew, knit, take pictures)
• Rub lotion on your hands
• Find and/or write down things that comfort you
• Recount everything you had for breakfast, lunch, etc.
• ​Wrap yourself in a blanket
• Find a distraction
• Organize your space
• Learn something new

Long-term coping skills

• Identify and distance yourself from your triggers. A lot of things can trigger your anxiety, like stress from school, work, traveling, genetics, trauma, side effects of medications, phobias, physical and mental illnesses, pain, or caffeine. If you can identify and distance yourself from these triggers, it might reduce your anxiety levels.

• Try cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Talking to a therapist about changing negative thought patterns can help you to change the way you think about and react to stressful situations.
• Meditate regularly. Meditating can help you dismiss negative thoughts when they arise. It may take some practice though!
• Go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day. Lack of sleep can trigger anxiety. If needed, do an activity like cleaning or reading a heavy book that will wear you out and make your body tired and ready for sleep.
• Exercise daily, even if it is just for a few minutes. If you can get your heart rate up, it can help relieve feelings of stress and minimize feelings of anxiety. It can also give you endorphins which can counteract nervous feelings. If you can minimize outside factors, when you do have an anxiety burst/attack, you can be more capable of handling it. Whereas if you are already struggling it can make it very difficult to handle yet another thing.
• Be observant about your caffeine and how much you can have without feeling sick because caffeine can make it worse.
• Try supplements/diet changes. Some nutrients can help reduce anxiety. This includes lemon balm, omega-3 fatty acids, ashwagandha, green tea, valerian root, kava kava, and dark chocolate (in moderation). It may take a few months for supplements to work, and always remember to discuss supplements or dietary changes with your doctor!
• Take medication. If you believe your anxiety is severe enough that you need medication, discuss it with your doctor.

 

Affordable places to get art supplies

• There are pencils, pens, and paint at the Dollar Tree and possibly canvases as well
• Joanne’s has really cheap canvases if you catch them on a sale period (50-70% off is a frequent sale that they have) 
• Garage sales 

• Get canvases from Goodwill and then paint over them 

 

How to tell your friends or family about your anxiety

Depending on who you want to share this with, here are some different things you can consider when sharing with your family or friends:
Before talking to them

• Assess the risk of telling them. Some people are not always the safest people to confide in.
• If you are not comfortable talking about it on your own and you think you might need support, bring a friend or someone you trust.

Let them know ...

• How you express your symptoms so they know when you are experiencing anxiety and can support you.
• How you were diagnosed. While your anxiety is valid regardless of whether or not you have been formally diagnosed, if you do have a formal diagnosis, it may help others better understand.
• What specifically gives you anxiety and how it affects you personally so they can either help prevent you from experiencing anxiety or figure out how to make you feel safe and welcome if you do.
• If they can or can’t ask questions. It's natural for people to ask questions. If this overwhelms you, let them know if they can or can't ask questions or that you will only answer a few questions for now and that you will get back to them when you had a chance to breathe.
• How they can help support you. As someone who loves and cares about you, your friends and family might want to know how they can support you. Come prepared with things they can say or do to support you when you are experiencing anxiety and some things they should avoid saying or doing so they won't make it worse.

 

If they do not understand ...

• Ask your counselor or some other person you trust to be a mediator/to be there when you try again.
• Show them YouTube videos about anxiety.
• Give examples of what causes it.
• If you didn't do this the first time, explain how it affects you personally so they can better understand.
• Educate yourself about anxiety and then share what you learned with them.
• Tell them again in a different way. You can use metaphors or an example from a time in their life when they experienced anxiety.
• Seek professional help. Sometimes friends and family just don't understand. However, it's important to talk to someone about it. 
• Always find someone to talk to. We are here if you would like to talk to us. Some of us experience anxiety and can help you brainstorm other ideas.
• If they still don't understand, be honest about your boundaries and what you need to be your best self.

Helping a loved one with anxiety

 

Things you can say and do if someone is experiencing an anxiety attack

What to say

• “It’s going to be OK.”
• “Stay strong.”
• “You got this.”
• “You’ll get through this.”
• “I got you.”
• “I’m here for you.”
• “What can I do for you?”
• “What did you have for lunch?” (encourage them focus on something else)
• “What are you feeling worried about?”
• “What are you feeling?”
• “I’m sorry you’re going through that, it must really suck.”
  
• Remind them they’re not alone

What to do

• Stay near them
• Start a conversation
• Do what they say
• Offer some comfort tools
• Provide distractions
• Be there for them
• Give a hug (with consent)
• Take them to a calmer area (with consent)
• ​Talk about the situation, act engaged, and offer advice
• Provide resources
• Speak calmly
• Be patient
• Avoid bringing up triggers
• Remind them of self-care things
• Help them come up with a safety plan
• Create a quiet environment

 

Things to avoid saying or doing if someone is experiencing an anxiety attack

DO NOT say

• “You’ll get over it.”
• “Just calm down.”
• “You’re being a baby.”
• “What’s wrong with you?”
• “Stop using that as an excuse.”
• “I have anxiety too and that doesn’t happen to me.”
• ​“Stop being clingy.”
• “Be more positive.”
• “You’re not special.”
• “You’re not disabled.”
• “I have it worse.”
• “Others have it worse.”
• ​“Take a chill pill.”
• “Don’t be weird.”
• “Can you not right now?”

DO NOT

• Ignore it
• Yell
• Get mad
• ​Insult them
• Laugh
• Be overbearing if they need space
• Call attention to them
• Ridicule/make fun of them
• Undervalue what they’re saying
• Push them into uncomfortable places or situations
• Encourage them to use stimulants

 

How to recognize when someone you know is using unhealthy coping skills

• When they seem to try and back up the way they are treating an issue
• If the person seems overly passionate about something that is most likely not the best for them
• They don’t have a long-term resolution
• They can’t address the original issue or do not have the effort to address it
• They are harming themselves physically, mentally, or emotionally
• They are using something as a distraction instead of a healthy solution
• What they are doing gets in the way of their normal life
• They seem agitated/irritable
• They seem distracted