12/17/2024-Lonely and jealous
Every day I have to walk in school and see all the couples hanging in the hallways it just makes me feel like crying cause im a single gay male and I don’t have a boyfriend ,it’s not fair I’ve been rejected 18 times in the last few years I’m only 18 and I’m just so lonely 😭 😥😢
from stella
Hey there! My name’s Stella, thank you so much for reaching out to us for help. I totally get what it feels like to feel inferior to those around you, especially when it comes to being in a relationship. I can imagine what you must be going through, and I’m so sorry you have to deal with it constantly. Personally, when I was going through a similar problem, I turned to a phrase I’ve lived my life by for a long time, as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community: “Friends are the family you choose.” I was able to personally surround myself with people who cared about me and wanted me to be happy, and eventually it led to me finding a partner of my own, after years of trial and error, and plenty of rejection. I really wish I could tell you there’s an easy fix, but there isn’t. All you can do is find your own support system. If you need resources for help finding friends, we have plenty on our website. I personally really enjoy turning to music, alongside my friends. If you’re looking for some fun music to dance to, or maybe even cry to, I highly recommend the band HAPPY LANDING. They’re from Arkansas, and their music is really fun and upbeat. If you need anything else, we’re here, open 4-9, Monday through Thursday, and 4-7 on Fridays. Have a wonderful day, and keep your head up! <3 from emma
Hiii there, I’m Emma, thank you for reaching out to us, we really appreciate it and you are so brave for it! I know it is hard to see other couples hanging around each other and be happy. It is normal to feel lonely especially around this time of year. There are things you could do to not feel lonely. Personally whenever I feel lonely I would call up my friends either just to talk to them or hangout. It always lighten me up whenever I’m with my friends. It is alright to not have a partner right now, don’t rush into things that you are not sure with. It is worth waiting for someone special, during the time you wait, you can understand yourself more and can know what you want in your partner, setting the standard they say. So take those rejection as a way to know that it is worth waiting for someone that is really special to you. So don’t feel down because one day the one for you will show up and make all your worries goes away. I hope my support help you feel better! Reach out anytime again, we will be here for you. Again thank you for reaching and I hope everything will goes well for you! from chloe
hanks for reaching out, I totally understand and get feeling lonely it’s normal. Getting rejected sucks ,but it doesn’t reflect you As a person. Finding the right person can take time. I know it sucks being single and it can get lonely but don’t let it get you. I will say that live ur life while ur still young so don’t let it get to you. Hugs and kisses chloe<3 from dahlia
Hello, I am Dahlia from TeenTalk. Being around so many couples while being single doesn't sound easy. I understand how this could make you feel lonely and also jealous. I often feel the same way because I am also single, and I worry about finding a partner. But something everyone has to understand is that a person cannot heal you. We as humans all need connection because if we do not connect with other people, then we will fall into isolation. But we all have to learn to find happiness for ourselves without depending on someone or something. It is fine to want a partner, but if you find yourself thinking that a partner will make you feel worthy or that by having one, you are lovable, then you are only going to get angry at yourself and push your mind into a negative space. I want you to know that no matter if you have a partner or not, you are still an amazing person. If you have been rejected, it is best not to force the other person's approval. Rejection is scary, and it makes you question your worth. There is also no clear answer to why you have been rejected, but it is something that unfortunately occurs to all of us. It will take time to find someone who loves you for who you are. But it is a love worth waiting for. As you wait for your partner to find you and for you to find them, remember to take good care of yourself. I know it feels frustrating to have to wait, especially when it feels like everyone else has a partner, but life goes at a different pace for everyone. Beautiful things that are worth the wait are not easy to find. Sometimes, we think we have found something beautiful, like a rose, but it ends up being rotten inside. What I mean by this is that if you try to rush love, you may end up with someone who does not treat you well. Do not compare yourself to others. Instead, treat yourself very well, as if your partner is hoping to find you happy and healthy. Also, it is okay to cry if you feel sad. Do not keep your emotions bottled in, but make sure to use those emotions as a way to motivate yourself to care for yourself. I believe there is someone out there who will find you and love you for who you are. There are so many people in this world, so I know it has to be true that there is someone out there who would love to spend their life with you. 10/23/2024 Connections with the right kids
I am a mom of three. We moved here about a year ago for their dads job. Two of the kids have transitioned really well. One, my oldest - isn't doing well at all. The whole time we have been here he has made two friends, and they have lots of bad things happening in their lives. They call him, it seems like night and day. They need his help way too much. How can I help him make some more friends who arent having so many issues. I want him to be happy like he used to be before the move.
November 1-Thank you for messaging Ask Petty. Your post is important, and a few volunteers will send in their replies soon. Please check back at the end of next week for all our submissions. from alex
Hi, thank you so much for reaching out! I'm sorry to hear that about your son. it sounds like it would be very difficult for not only him, but also you as his mom. I would maybe try asking him if he would be open to joining some sort of club/program/event or something that you think he would be interested in. I don't know what's happening in his friends' lives, but depending on what it is, I feel it's okay for him to continue talking with them on the phone and hanging out with them and such. However, night and day on the phone is very unhealthy and somewhat concerning, so I would definitely set some restrictions and boundaries. I really hope this helps and things improve with you and your son!
-Eric Hi, thank you so much for reaching out! I'm sorry to hear that about your son. it sounds like it would be very difficult for not only him, but also you as his mom. I would maybe try asking him if he would be open to joining some sort of club/program/event or something that you think he would be interested in. I don't know what's happening in his friends' lives, but depending on what it is, I feel it's okay for him to continue talking with them on the phone and hanging out with them and such. However, night and day on the phone is very unhealthy and somewhat concerning, so I would definitely set some restrictions and boundaries. I really hope this helps and things improve with you and your son!
-Eric from May
Hi, I’m May! I’m so glad you reached out. That sounds tough and I’m sorry you’re having to deal with that. My first piece of advice is to create some sort of normal routine. When going through a big change like that it’s good to create some sort of normal. It could be something like watching a movie together once a week, eating dinner together, a shared hobby, or even just something small. Another thing you mentioned is friends. We have a lot of helpful resources about making friends here: (link friends resource page here). Other than that, I would suggest encouraging him to join a club, sport, or some kind of activity at school. Clubs are a great way to get connected in school and make friends! Again, I’m so glad you reached out and we’re here if you want to talk more. 10/03/2023 - I’m lonely and depressed and no one likes mE
I’m alone at school I have no one to talk to besides adults at school ,no one likes me I’ve tried to make friends but no one ever talks to me and it’s hard for me to talk cause I have social anxiety and adhd and people just don’t talk to me some of my friends from middle school that I know don’t even talk to me anymore I’m so alone I’m hopeless that i won’t even find a friend to talk to and especially because people think im an idiot and im shy around everyone even my teachers I wish I had friends and had an easier Time talking to adults in school but I don’t I will ever find friends
From Jen
That sounds really hard and I’m sorry you have been feeling so lonely. Thank you for reaching out to teen talk and sharing what you’ve been going through. I wish I could be there to help but if you are ever lonely and just need to talk to someone you can always reach out to us to call, text, or leave message like you did. I have social anxiety and ADHD too so what you wrote reminded me a lot of how I’ve felt at times before. I know I don’t fully understand your experience but I could tell you what was really helpful for me when I’ve felt lonely and hopeless. I love animals so going to the pet store or a shelter where they let you pet the animals can be really calming. I have a dog and it helps me to talk to it or just give it a hug since animals don’t really judge and often they are excited to meet new people. I don’t know if your school has any clubs but if they do you could try joining one that interests you to test and see if you might get along with anyone there. Or if there’s a library by you a lot of times they do fun activities where you can usually meet some really chill people. Doing volunteer work is something I really love to do since helping other people distracts me from my own problems but also I’ve found that other people who volunteer are really grateful to have someone join them. With social anxiety it can be really difficult just to talk to other people so I know that, at least for me, it’s an everyday struggle but it’s gotten easier. I do best with small interactions like holding the door open for someone or helping them pick up something if their hands are full. These are usually positive interactions and they don’t last very long so it’s less nerve racking to start out with. I hope things can get better and it might be hard for a while but you can do this! Thanks for taking the time to write a message to teen talk, if you ever want to reach out and talk my name is Jen and I have a shift every Thursday 6-9 :) From DAHLIA
I understand how painful it can be to feel lonely in a world with so many people. I also suffer from social anxiety and have no friends. You might feel like the people you are around dislike you or are judging you, but they aren't. There might be people who see you and think you are cool, yet, they might also be too nervous to say anything. It might feel like you will feel lonely forever, but you will meet people who appreciate and love you because I know there are people out there who would be happy to have you in their life. Don't feel ashamed just because you are shy or are dealing with things that others don't know about. In my eyes, you are an incredibly strong person, especially because you go to school despite feeling so many things at once. I strongly suggest you try to join clubs or go to school events to try and talk with people. I know that sounds overwhelming, but you should try to at least attend an event because maybe someone could approach you. I myself might try to go to some school events to meet people. You got this! and you are loved. From Bri
Hi there :) I am glad you messaged us and I am so sorry you're feeling like that right now. Starting school can be really hard and it can be really difficult going from middle school to high school. I know when I started a new school it was hard to figure out where I fit in and it took me awhile to get to know others and to let them get to know me. I really like the phrase "finding friends whose awkward matches your awkward" or maybe it was weird haha. I am just a super awkward person and I really have the feels because I know what its like to feel awkward. But I am sure you will find the person who makes you feel like you are less awkward and you can just be awkward together, because I think everyone is a little awkward. I hope that maybe your old friends are just feeling kind of awkward too and trying to figure out where they fit in, and that its less about you. I am glad that you found some adults at school, that sounds amazing! Hopefully that will ease some of the pressure off until you find a friend to hang out with. Maybe you could find a club or extra curricular to help you make friends? And pal, I can already tell you are pretty great and I hope you remember that :) It may take some time but I feel like you will find someone really cool when you're least expecting it! From Eric
Hi, thank you for reaching out! I’m sorry to hear that this is going on. I know from experience how hard it is to talk to people that you don’t know, or trying to make new friends. I know it may seem like everyone doesn’t like you, but trust me, that’s not the case at all. Most people purely just don’t have an opinion on you, because they haven’t had the chance to talk to you. This isn’t a bad thing! This gives you the chance to show people how you really are. I know it is very difficult and almost impossible seeming to engage with people you don’t know, but when I was in your shoes I tried to just start small conversations or comments here and there. Like offering people at your table a piece of gum, or giving a relatively general complement or commonality between you two. I really hope this helps! From Anna
Hi, thank you so much for reaching out. I am so sorry you feel this way. I know it feels like it's hard to make friends, but I can assure you that no one thinks you are an idiot. I'm so proud of you for trying to make friends, after all, that first step is the hardest. If you would like, I suggest joining some volunteer clubs at your school since they usually have many members and fun events to go to where you can meet new people. Talking to teachers may seem daunting, but just always remember, they are just people who want to help you. Maybe that will ease your mind a little if you feel scared talking to adults in school. I hope these tips will help and good luck :) Please don't hesitate to reach out if you have any new developments or wish to talk! 03/03/2023 - i'll keep it shorT
i have no friends, im bullied at school and ive tried every hobby you can think of but nothing seems to be fun. both of my parents get angry when i ask for help and when ive talked with them about that they change the subject. i just want a hug :(
from maggie
hey there, i'm so, so glad you reached out <3 first of all, here's a hug: ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ (not the real thing, but i hope it helps even a little!). i wanted to let you know that everything you're feeling now is totally valid - i've definitely been there before, where nothing seems to click, and it's so hard to find anything that will make me happy. it's really hard, especially when you feel like you're just stuck in this endless cycle. the hardest thing in the world is feeling like you have nobody to turn to, but things will get better - i promise! it can take some time, but i am confident that you'll find your people at school eventually - people who you feel comfortable with being yourself, people who will help you discover hobbies and things you like to do <3 usually, i'd ask if you've tried journaling, or writing, or some other form of expression to help you process everything, but you say that you've basically gone through every hobby, so that might not be super helpful... what i can say is this - it's the smallest, most random things that usually bring people together! maybe you'll bump into someone in the lunchroom, or sit down next to someone at the library, or find out that you both have the same shoes - the possibilities are endless. next time, if you notice someone sitting on their own, try going up to them and asking about their day, or maybe even just commenting something you like about their outfit. little things will build up!! it's completely okay to not know what makes you happy right now - these things take time. i believe in you! and remember, if you ever want to chat, we're here :) - maggie from bri
Hello <3 I am glad you reached out, it can be really hard messaging someone new but I am really glad that you did. That seems like it might be really overwhelming. It can be really hard trying to get into a hobby when nothing sounds fun. Sometimes when I feel that way I try to change my goal from "having fun" to trying to focus my mind so I don't think about the bad things. I am really sorry to hear that people at school aren't being very nice, school can be hard enough without also having to deal with people being mean. Is there maybe a staff or teacher at school that you might feel comfortable talking to about your bullies? Having parents that are angry can feel like a lot, especially when you're just trying to get help. Is there something I could maybe help you with? I wish we could give you a hug, that is my biggest grievance with the internet, I would totally send you a virtual hug if I could :( FROM MIA
Thanks so much for reaching out to TeenTalk we're glad to hear from you! It's good that you have tried various things to help yourself. That's a strong thing of you to do. I'm sorry that your parents don't understand what is happening with you right now. That must be difficult especially when you're trying to open up. We would love to hear from you sometime soon! FROM JEN
I recently joined as a volunteer for teen talk and I’m so glad I did! It’s lots of fun and all the volunteers and supervisors are really nice and friendly. I haven’t answered any calls yet but in my training I’ve seen the other volunteers at work and it’s awesome to see how they help other people. We also can make crafts or design stuff for teen talk and I always really enjoy doing that too. I think teen talk is an amazing way to spend some time volunteering for the people you help but also for yourself. 01/26/2022 - I really want more friends
After noticing I only have 3 friends, I got really sad. I have three people that I talk to everyday. Sometimes they aren't even available and since I don't go to in person school and I don't even know the first thing to say in a conversation, I kinda gave up. But now I'm looking for new friends, what do I do?
FROM BRI
Hey :) I’m really glad you messaged us. And I think friendship is harder now than it ever was. I think it’s pretty normal to have a few friends, even people who seem like they have a ton of friends typically only really talk closely with a few people. It’s pretty amazing that you have three people that you talk to regularly. How did you meet? What do you have in common? What do you like about them? I know getting back into socializing is pretty hard, I’ve definitely had my fair share of awkward interactions and I’m a bit rusty. But I try to remember that’s how everyone is and that I’m really not alone in not knowing how to be or how to act. I really hope you give it another shot and just try out different versions of you and see what fits. I usually start with a hey what’s up? And ask them about their week. Then depending on what they said they did I ask them more questions about the things they’re interested in. Like oh you walked your dog? What kind of dog do you have? What’s their name? How old are they? And if I have a dog I’ll share stories or pictures about mine. And if I don’t I’ll be like hey there’s this cute dog video that I thought you’d like. Honestly I try to ask as many questions as possible because it’s a lot easier when someone else directs the conversation and people love talking about themselves. Common topics I love to use is: animals (who doesn’t love animals), random funny things I found on the internet, video games, tv shows, hobbies, school stuff (people love being helpful), etc. I find meeting people by doing things I love also really helps. Like if I’m feeling crafty maybe I join a group about crafts or a club/forum/group. The library also does a lot of cool events that are online rn and you can meet other pretty chill humans. Maybe you join a book group, maybe you join a choir, maybe you volunteer somewhere. And at least for me when I’m feeling lonely, I use the time I’m alone to become an even better version of myself. I work on learning new things, getting better at a hobby, and trying to be a person I’d want to talk to. And when you have time alone it gives you an opportunity to find something to talk about at your next encounter like a funny story or something you created, etc. I’m really sorry you’ve been feeling lonely lately. It’s such a hard time to try to make friends when people are at home more than ever and the places to make friends are so limited. Whenever you’re feeling alone I hope you know we are here to talk. We are here via email and texting and calling and we’d love to fill some time and learn more about you :) we hope to hear back from you soon!! FROM TESSA
Hello, thank you so much for reaching out to us. I understand how you feel, sometimes it eats away at us when we feel like our social life is not meeting our expectations. I am so sorry you have been feeling sad, I hope those feelings pass. My favorite way to meet new people is to join extracurriculars, like clubs and such. I understand you aren't attending in-person school right now so I imagine this could be difficult. I understand how you feel though, I have had the same friends for many years. I worry about making new friends too, especially in the future. Starting conversations is also hard, but once you get talking to someone I'm sure you will be able to connect with others. I hope you are able to find many new opportunities to make friends. Good luck, and give us a message or call if you would like to talk further :) -Tessa FROM DAVID
Thanks for reaching out! It's natural to feel lonely when you're stuck at home and can't go to school. One way to make friends from home is social media where you can find people that you would normally go to school with or that might live around you that you can hang out with! If you have any hobbies, you can use social media to connect with other people who might have these hobbies. It can be scary to meet people online but if you find people that live near you or that go to your school online you can connect with them while at home. If you do go online though make sure you follow some online safety guidelines. Try to find people you might have already been familiar with or that go to your school. Don't give out any personal information and block anyone you think is acting weird! I hope your able to make some new friends! FROM VALERIE
Hello! I'm so glad you decided to reach out, making friends is surprisingly difficult! But far from impossible. I've found the easiest way to make friends is to talk to people you might see more than once, you can make small talk and gradually build confidence around them. If no one comes to mind that's okay! You can always try an app specifically for making friends, which can be pretty sketchy so fs be careful and !!dont meet up anywhere that's not super public, if at all!! If anything, it helps you get comfortable carrying on a conversation :) Friends take a whole lot of patience and persistence, so dont give up!! You are capable of making friends, you just haven't met the right people yet. Keep trying and you'll get there, I believe in you! FROM RIKA
Hello! Thanks for writing to TeenTalk! There's nothing wrong with having just 3 friends, and it sounds like your friends are quality ones that appreciate your company. However, I also understand the feeling of wanting to expand your social circle a bit and it's always nice to make more friends. I'm not sure how you made the friends that you currently have, but I am guessing that you are a bit of an introvert like me, and it's harder for introverts to get out there and make new friends. I would suggest joining some clubs at school, finding places to volunteer at, or by joining groups online with people that share some of the same hobbies as you. Joining a club at school and talking to others there can be pretty intimidating since it often feels like you're the outsider there, but it's a good place to find others who share similar interests, and thus things you can talk about with them. There are often icebreakers at club meetings, or activities they do at the club that force you to talk a bit to others, and from there, try asking others one question, and then follow-up with what they say. Finding a place to volunteer at is also another good place to make friends, since you'll find that you're often volunteering with people around the same age as you that also share similar goals and values. When you're volunteering, I think that gives you a chance to engage with others in slightly deeper conversations since you can ask them why they're volunteering, and people normally give a deeper response that shows you something about themselves. Finally, you can try joining groups on the internet, like on discord of people who might like the same games or have the same hobbies as you. This option can be a slightly safer one if you feel more comfortable talking to people online, but you have to be careful about what you reveal to people. Try to avoid revealing personal information like where you live, your real name, where you go to school, etc. You can still form connections with people online though, sometimes deeper ones than the ones you form in person, since some people open up a bit more online than in person. A good way to start a conversation that I've found, is asking a clarifying question about something. It can be about procedural stuff or about someone that you have to talk to, like if you're in a breakout room online. Asking a question helps you get a bit of a foothold in a conversation, and then the next time you see them, it will probably be easier to talk to them again if you've done it once. That's basically all the advice I have for you now, but I'm sure the other volunteers will also have awesome advice for you too! Good luck making new friends, and don't be scared to speak up or ask questions when you're trying to break the ice with someone! It might be really intimidating, but you just have to get the words out of your mouth, and then go with the flow from there. I'm sure there are probably other people who want to talk to you too, but they might just be waiting for someone to speak first, like you. :) |
