10/4/2024- help
i don't know what to do i was assaulted tonight and i'm afraid to tell my boyfriend because what if he doesnt understands and thinks i did it and cheated on him or something. i also can't tell anyone else because i don't want to ruin his life or anything and i don't want to get a rape kit and get even more traumatized but im also covered in hickeys and marks and so i don't know how i'm going to hide it either i just don't know what to do i don't feel okay.
***swear words have been removed from this post. from heather
Hey there! It is so courageous for you to reach out! I’m so very sorry you had to go through this. This wasn’t fair for you, and I’m sorry you’re having to go through this pain. You aren’t alone in this <3. It’s okay and normal to be afraid. You don’t have to tell anyone or do anything until you feel ready. Take the time you need to process this and take care of your needs. It’s totally valid to be afraid to tell your boyfriend, it’s scary not knowing how he could react. But I’d hope that he offers you his support and helps you through this hard time! You deserve to have control over when you tell people, so don’t feel pressured to tell him until you’re ready. But I want you to know that you didn’t do anything wrong. Whenever you feel comfortable, telling a friend or someone else you trust would make sure you get the support you deserve. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone. If this feels too scary right now, you can always reach out to an anonymous and confidential hotline for sexual assault victims. https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline
https://www.ywcaclarkcounty.org/sexual-assault-program You are so so strong. If you ever want someone to talk to or just some support, TeenTalk will always be here for you <3. Sending you hugs! -Heather Teen Talk phone 360.397.2428 or text us at 360.984.0936 from marley
Hey, I really appreciate you reaching out, and it’s incredibly brave of you to share this with me, and I’m so incredibly sorry you had to experience something like this. It’s something no one deserves to go through. And I can definitely see why it’s hard to want to tell your boyfriend, but I hope you know your feelings are valid, and no matter what the experience, you deserve support from him or anyone else, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation about what happened unless you feel ready enough to. I hope more than anything you know you’re not alone, and however you decide to handle this, we TeenTalker’s are always in your corner. And if you feel like you want help outside of us, I hope you give some of these sources a chance; https://www.ywcaclarkcounty.org/sexual-assault-program https://rainn.org/resources -Marley from ruby
Hey, I’m glad you felt like you could come to us while in your situation. I’m sorry for what you had to go through, you deserve so much. You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, it’s valid for you to put you and your mental health first if that means telling you boyfriend or not. I can't confirm what his reaction would be but what happened to you is serious, and your experience is yours and no one should manipulate what happened to you if you do plan to reach out. It is not your fault, and you didn’t do anything to deserve this. Please remember to put yourself first and do what you think is right for you! Remember you are never alone, convey in the people you trust, and we are here too if you ever need it. Here is a resource of a confidential hotline that can give you further support if you desire; https://rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline. Once again it’s so courageous of you to come to us for advice, we are always here if you need it! :) -Ruby from dahlia
Hello, I am Dahlia. I am so sorry you were forced to do something you did not consent to. It was not your fault. I understand it may feel easier to hide what happened that night, but it is like putting a bandage over an injury; if you try to hide what happened rather than try to take the necessary steps to heal and get help, you will continue to have deep emotional wounds that can affect you now or later in life. I also want you to know that you will not ruin anyone's life for the bad actions they committed. You were assaulted, and it was him who did that to you. From the moment he assaulted you, he ruined his own life and caused pain in your life as well. I strongly suggest you get a rape kit and tell a trusted adult what happened because you can help prevent future assaults that he may attempt on someone else. I know right now you may not want to remember what happened that night, and you want to feel better, but for the sake of your healing and happiness, do not hide. When you feel ready, i encourage you to go to a doctor and tell another trusted adult what happened and who did it. 07/30/2024- How do i tell them
Maybe this is obvious and i should know this but still i don’t know. If I promised someone that I wouldn’t tell anyone what someone told me but I have to tell what they told me because it needs to move a secret do I tell them I have to tell? If I tell what do I say . I know they will hate me
from hailey
Hey that’s really smart of you to acknowledge the need to tell someone I say unless it’s bringing harm to you, the others person or others you should absolutely tell someone wether they hate you or not but otherwise you should talk to the person about it first before hand if they are a true friend they won’t hate you and will tell you what they want to happen and the best you can do is to do what they ask. Not sure if I answered your question but I hope I helped and I wish you luck :) -Hailey :)
from emma
Hey there, it seems like you are feeling scared of hurting others. I know secrets are hard to keeps, cause no one are good at keeping secrets. But some secret are not meant to be kept, if the secret that you been holding onto can hurt others or yourself then it is best to not keep it. I know it is hard baring a burden of someone else issue but remember if it hurt you then is it meant to be kept? If you decided to tell them then you should break it down slowly. Start off with how you have been feeling lately, reminds them of how much you care about them and you are doing this just to help them, not hurt them. You are never hurting someone if you speak the truth from bottom of your heart. This show that you do care about them a lot and you are trying to protect them. So don't be scared, you are trying your best and that is all it matter! -Emma- from jen
Thank you for sharing what’s been on your mind. I’m sorry that this has been weighing on you and causing stress. If this secret is something that you are concerned for your friends safety it can be important to tell someone. You can the person who shared the secret that you are going to tell someone because you care about them and are doing it out of love. You might also want to talk with a trusted adult about this with them so you can all be involved in the conversation and share your perspectives. If they are unveiling to do that then it may be important to find that trusted adult and talk to them on your own. Make sure that you are using integrity when sharing someone else’s secret and sometimes that means not keeping a secret if it can help the other person be safe and healthy. It’s okay if your friend gets upset. And it’s okay to feel hurt by that but please understand that your friends safety is more important than keeping a secret even if it feels really scary. You’re really brave for seeking help and I wish you all the best for whatever you decide. I once saw a video at school of a girl who had a friend she had told to keep a secret that they wanted to hurt themselves. The friend told a trusted adult the other person was really upset with them and didn’t talk to them for a few days. But after a week that person was so grateful and even decades later is so happy their friend did the hard thing and got them help and support when they didn’t want it. It saved their life they said they think it’s really important to not keep secrets that can be dangerous or harm another person. I know it might be scary but you can do it and look out for your friend and help them to be safe . <3 Jen 10/23/2023 - homeless
How do I apply foe homeless housing if I am a homeless youth.
fROM qUINN
Hi! Im so sorry, i hope one of these works for you! Here are some resources for people who are experiencing homelessness. If your 17 and under check oak bride youth center, if you 18 over look at housing solution center. Here are some food resources if you need it. If your feeling overwhelmed and want to talk you can call us! -Quinn 07/24/2023 - VOLUNTEERING
What is volunteering at teentalk like? Do you like it? Why?
from eric
Although I am very new, I see volunteering at teentalk as a very open arms way of being a part of something. Just starting out I was immediately welcomed and encouraged, especially during my training. I really enjoy volunteering here because it's a very accepting, non-judgmental, and especially friendly environment to be in. fROM mIA
Hello, thank you for writing to us! I really enjoy volunteering at TeenTalk because it's a great way to give back to the community and meet other volunteers! When I volunteer, I get to receive messages and phone calls from people and help with whatever they want to talk about. If you're interested in volunteering, please fill out our brief application! FROM BRI
Volunteering at TeenTalk is like coming to a warm kind place where you can be yourself and through the caring support you're given, use your experiences to help other people without fear that you will know your story or could use that story against you or would judge you for what is going on in your life or how things have been. At TeenTalk, there is always a meal or snack if you need it, there is always an open ear of a kind adult who really cares, and there is always the ultimate expectation of kindness and caring towards others, including yourself, because even people who help others deserves to be cared about as well. At TeenTalk, I like the training that helps prepare you to help others, the emphasis on having healthy boundaries and modeling healthy behaviors, and that when calls are especially tough because there are no solutions or you can't provide the help that another person needs, you are never alone. A caring individual is always there if you need them to help you know what to say or how to get resources for the person on the line or over messaging. I think TeenTalk is an amazing program and I really don't think there are any other places that have felt more like home. fROM aMELIA
Volunteering at TeenTalk has been a great experience for me to contribute to the community and further develop my interpersonal skills! The things I have learned in my time volunteering here have been very helpful and will definitely carry over into other aspects of my life. There are many different things you do while volunteering at TeenTalk, from directly sharing peer support one-on-one, to doing things to better the community as a whole like compassion boxes or spreading the message of what awesome resource TeenTalk is to Clark County's youth. If anyone is at all contemplating becoming a TeenTalker I would highly recommend!! From Jen
I recently joined as a volunteer for teen talk and I’m so glad I did! It’s lots of fun and all the volunteers and supervisors are really nice and friendly. I haven’t answered any calls yet but in my training I’ve seen the other volunteers at work and it’s awesome to see how they help other people. We also can make crafts or design stuff for teen talk and I always really enjoy doing that too. I think teen talk is an amazing way to spend some time volunteering for the people you help but also for yourself. 06/03/2023 - This is a combination of multiple subjects, so I just put it here. I hope that's okay.
Recently, I've had a lot going on with myself. I don't really know why, but almost every pet around me had died. Both of my neighbors had to put down their dogs, and my grandmother had to put down her dog because of cancer. On the note of that, my aunt recently had to go into surgery due to a cancer diagnosis (But was delayed due to her smoking). Causing my uncle to go into hysterics and start drinking again after being sober for half a year. Which drove my three cousins into a state of depression (these people are the most family I've ever had). I've been making as much connection with them as I possibly can but I can't do very much with them living so far away from me.
As well as this, my friend that I've had a crush on for over 4 months has gotten a partner. I'm not saying I'm not happy for them, but watching them spend time being so happy with someone that I've desired to be for as long as I've had a crush on them has, well, "crushed" me (Haha). They've started to drift away from me and spend more time with new people. This wouldn't hurt as much as it does if they weren't the only friend I've bonded with as much as myself. I respect everyone's actions as everyone has a choice to be as happy as they possibly can, but I can't help but have an ache in my heart for someone and something I've yearned for melt away without hesitation. Feeling like I've been ripped in half. On the topic of friends, two of my casual friends have been sent to mental hospitals. These as also friends I'm close with (obviously not as much as the other friend) and seeing so many people leave my life without my choice just leaves me numb. I've been trying my best to bare everything, but I don't enjoy living in pure fear and anxiety. I only await another failed assignment in school. Another friend coming into my live only to leave with grace as if it were their intentions. With so much negativity, wouldn't someone almost always consider death? If only I were that ignorant. If I were to pack my bags and leave my consciences It would break my peers that I am holding together with such strength I have left. It would break my parents, my friends, my siblings, anyone's fragile heart. Being so important should come with acceptance, love, and care. But people tend to be ignorant until the worst happens. Disappointing as it is, It's true. As everything piles up on me, I refuse to make room to talk about my own problems, considering most of these aren't even my own, telling someone something like this could put them in this situation. And I would never do that to someone. Maybe you guys can help! I appreciate such a wonderful resource. :) Thank you, ੈ♡˳ Anonymous From Amelia
Hi, my name is Amelia, thanks for reaching out to TeenTalk. I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch right now, I know how hard it can be when it feels like things just keep piling on and on. Please remember that sometimes its ok to be selfish, in order to care of other people you have to care for yourself first. Stretching yourself so thin that there's just nothing left at the end of the day can be so detrimental to your mental health. Prioritizing your mental health is just as important as your physical health and sometimes everyone needs a little reminder of that. I can tell that you care deeply about the people around you and want only the best for them from your message, and I admire you for that. But just make sure that you are also taking care of yourself. Dedicating some time for yourself can be so important and I'm glad that you were able to get your thoughts out in this message. Hopefully us here at TeenTalk can help you through this and please know that sharing your feelings is never a burden to be put on someone else. The people in your life are there to listen and want to help! From Mia
Hello! Thank you so much for reaching out to us! First of all, I'm sorry to hear about your family situation with your aunt and uncle. It's good that you're trying to maintain your relationship with them and I'm sure that they appreciate that. It's really brave of you to be going though so much and still persevering! I regard to your friend that you have had a crush on, I know it must be tough to watch someone you care about drift slowly away. I think you're handling that very well. I agree that everyone deserves to be happy and so do you. I know it is tough and the way feel is completely valid. I'm glad that you are happy for them despite your own feelings for them. That's really mature and admirable. I'm sorry that two of your friends have both gone to hospitals to get help. Losing them must be another difficult obstacle to overcome. I know it may feel lonely but at least they are getting help that they need. I know all of this is so overwhelming for one to take on themselves, but you are really brave and important. You are appreciated by the people you have in your life and the world is definitely better with you in it. You are unbelievably strong and I hope you can see that for yourself. I hope you make time for yourself and have a good coping strategy when you get really overwhelmed with emotions. I hope you also find a way to express how you feel to someone. If not someone, I find that writing down your thoughts on a piece of paper is really helpful to manage you stress. If you would like to talk, we are here and glad to speak with you! Thank you again for reaching out to us! From Grace
Hi, I am so sorry to hear that, it sounds like you are going through so many huge and very tough situations all at once (and no worries about putting all these subjects it's so brave of you to share what you're going through and your feelings). I can't even imagine how much sadness it must bring. I really hope your close family can feel how much you care for them. Watching someone who you have feelings for be with another person can cause such big feelings in a person. Is there a reason they're drifting away? If they are a very close friend would you feel comfortable telling them what you've been going through, is that what may be causing you guys to drift apart? I think it's very admirable that you respect other's actions and choices to happiness and it's totally understandable that even though you understand that, it hurts you. Do you think that maybe your friends are sad that they are being pulled away from their friend too? Living in pure fear and anxiety is not good for a person's mental health and it is so hard. It is like a person is just surviving every day and that can really hurt a person. With so much negativity I believe someone would consider death, when a person bottles their feelings up it can make things much worse. It sounds like you are going through some really tough stuff and if these feelings you're having get stronger then I would definitely recommend calling 988 or the crisis line. I can see that you don't want to put the weight of what you're going through on another person and that is very considerate of you. My question is though, are you being considerate to yourself? You are showing a lot of consideration to others but don't forget to show it to yourself, you are just as important to them as they are to you. I think your parents would really want to hear your feelings though, I think if they didn't realize until the worst happened that they would be extremely broken and would wish they would have known. Do you think they would have those feelings? I wanted to tell you again I'm very happy that you chose to share this with me and since you don't want to put this weight on others I'm here to listen! Thank you so much for sharing! - Grace From David
Thanks for reaching out to us! My name is David! I know it takes a lot of courage and bravery to reach out so I'd just like to thank you again. I'm really really sorry to hear about everything that's been going on and glad you can put your thoughts and feelings onto "paper". It's also good to see that you still have some humor left and your writing is really good. I couldn't help but admire your message as it's well written and even has rhetorical devices. The pets dying just seems like an unfortunate coincidence and if you have a therapy pet at home or at school that can help with that maybe. I also have really close cousins and I understand how you feel. I think you're dong your best to support them and I think they should all really appreciate you too. I also understand about your friends and I think they also really support you too. I know how it feels to see someone you like be with someone else but there's also others out there. I know it's hard but I try to look at that person and appreciate them as a friend which I know is what you're doing but it's still hard. You're also right that you are very important to everyone around you and you seem like a great person. I think you should have a right to talk about your problems and there are also school counselors or therapists available or you can call or text us! You can also try and find your own coping skills like healthy activities such as art, outdoor activities, video games etc. Finding a hobby really helps with making new friends and feeling better. I know finding something I enjoyed really worked well for me! Again thanks for reaching out and I hope you stay strong! Bye! From Leslie
Hi there :) Thank you so much for reaching out to us, I'm glad that you're willing to share your problems and make some time for yourself to reach out to us. Having that many deaths/sicknesses around you sounds very distressing, especially seeing your family fall into that state. I just want to say that you are so mature and impressive for being able to hold it in throughout all this, while trying to support your family. I'm sure they appreciate your efforts more than you know, regardless of how much distance is between you all. I know we can't be sure of any outcomes but please stay positive. You seem like an amazing person and I genuinely wish the best for you and your family. As for your crush, while I might not know the exact feeling I've been in a similar situation. I know it feels horrible right now, but trust me: you will find someone you feel the same way or stronger about soon enough. The romantic feelings you get for people just get stronger as you grow older and you'll definitely find someone else who you'll connect with and be able to find happiness with! It might take a while but your heart will feel better before you know it. (By the way, I appreciated your pun.) Two friends being sent to mental hospitals would really effect me, so I don't blame you for feeling numb and afraid. I know this might sound cliché but despite the recent trends in your life, that doesn't necessarily set the precedent for all the other relationships you'll make. Many people discover a best friend in the roughest times. I think continuing to try to socialize and meet new people. even if it's just to be acquaintances would really help with how you're feeling. You could find someone you click with! You never know unless you try :) Additionally, I think the memories you can take away and look back at from friendships also make them worth it, even if the friendship doesn't last forever. If I'm interpreting this fourth paragraph correctly, you recognize how important you are which is good. Even if other people don't always appreciate or show you anything gratitude for what you mean to them, from what I'm getting from you you're definitely a pillar of support to those around you and that's a lot of pressure to take on but it's an amazing thing to do. If you ever need some support for yourself, you can always reach out to us through this form or by calling/texting/emailing us. We're always happy to help and send some encouragement or good messages your way. I hope you have a good rest of your day and again, thank you so much for trusting us and reaching out :) FROM TALIA
Hello! Thank you for reaching out. I know it can be really scary to contact us so it's really great that you've been able to this with me. It's totally okay that you have a lot to process, that must be so difficult to be dealing with so much right now and I'm sorry you are going through this. It must be really tough to be dealing with a lot of issues with your family and pets. Losing a pet can be so difficult because they really are a part of the family. I hope that you are giving yourself space to grieve. I'm sorry that your family is going through such a hard time and that you have a limited ability to help them due to factors that are out of your control. It sounds like that feels really defeating. It might be a good idea to take a step back and focus on your own well being for awhile so that can get recharged. It makes a lot of sense that you are struggling with your friend getting a new partner and seeing them start to drift apart from you can make it even worse. That sounds like an terrible feeling to be dealing with on top of every thing else that you are going through, but you never know what the future holds so try to keep an open mind. Communication is important. Have you talked to your friend at all about how you're feeling? Just letting them know that you feel like they aren't as invested in the friendship anymore could be helpful. They might not even realize that they are drifting apart from you. Maybe you could also try to find some new friends as well. Having other people to lean on during hard times can make things a lot easier. Every thing you're going through sounds really tough. Give yourself grace. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you will continue to write to us! 09/15/2021 - idk
how much yall get paid dealing w annoying people all day??
FROM TESSA
Hello, thank you for reaching out! As a volunteer TeenTalk, I do not get payed. I really enjoy talking to people, and being a friend to people who want to reach out :) I do not find anyone annoying who talks to us! I am so glad to be able to connect with youth in the community, and it is something I enjoy doing so I do not need to get payed. This can be a common misconception, but volunteers do not get payed. -Tessa FROM LESLIE
hi! we actually don’t get paid, it’s all volunteer work :) but the people aren’t annoying at all! we get a bunch of different types of calls and messages and some of them are just fun/chill convos that genuinely make my day better haha, but even with the serious ones it’s really rewarding to be there for someone so we choose to volunteer here even though we don’t get paid. feel free to reach out sometime! i promise we won’t think you’re annoying :) - Leslie 06/07/2021 - ive been angry
hi, my name is ***** i'm *****. i recently went through a nicotine faze where my parents caught me on numerous occasions smoking and vaping. i was going through a hard time feeling like my parents didnt treat me like a person amongst my 4 siblings, when i got all of my things taken away i took my sadness and turned it into anger and the longer i went keeping it all inside the more angrier i got, now i resort to anger when im in a bad mood or im upset, i cant stop lashing out and my family constantly tells me its an attitude, when i try to talk to them they brush me off and say im being selfish, im ***** whats ur name?
*****Some identifying information was removed from this message for this person’s privacy FROM JOSEPH
Hi. Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you’ve been going through a lot and I have to say how incredibly impressed and proud I am of you for being aware of your feelings and where they’re coming from. It also sounds like your nicotine faze is over and I want you to know that I am also super super proud of you for quitting. That isn’t easy and you should know how great it is that you quit! I know what it’s like having a lot of siblings so it must be really hard when you feel like you’re being treated differently from them. Between that and having all your things taken away, it makes sense why you were sad and then turned that sadness into anger. I’m sad to hear that your family doesn’t see it the way you do because it sounds like you’re trying your best and really just want to be heard. After all, I think that’s what we all want … to be heard. Sometimes when we’re hurt and are having a hard time expressing it, it can be helpful to turn that energy into something positive? What do you do to cope? Do you write, paint, draw, create music, or do something else? If not, do you have someone you’re able to talk to about what’s going on, like someone at school (assuming you’re able to go to in-person school), a coach, a family friend, an aunt or uncle, a therapist or someone else? It’s hard to keep our feelings bottled in and maybe they can be a good person to help your parents understand what you’re going through. If you don’t have any of those people—and even if you do—know that we are here for you, that we will listen, and that we believe in you. We got your back. 😊 I’m going to ask my amazing friends who volunteer on Tuesdays to also respond because they are so smart and so kind and you deserve to hear some other perspectives and know that even more people are on your team! 😊 If you don’t see their messages with this one, check back tomorrow. 😊 Joseph FROM VANESSA
Hi! My name is vanessa :] thank you for reaching out and letting us know what you’re going through i really appreciate that but yeah I get you sometimes when you make mistakes people will use that as kinda your “defining factor” but its hard to not get angry with people if they dont give you a chance to defend yourself i totally get that. I understand how you could get even more frustrated when you do try to defend yourself and no one listens but there's always ways we can try and help! Maybe if you try taking out your anger on objects like pillows or stuffed animals it would help you get rid of that anger and it might help you not lash out or even just trying to talk with yourself whilst its happening to calm down might help. Sometimes bottling things up can end in us lashing out because we feel helpless and have no one else to rely on but maybe finding a way to destress might help you get rid of some of those fillings before they overflow your bottle :] again thank you for reaching out im really proud of you FROM ASHLEY
Hi! I’m really glad you reached out! It sounds like you’re going through a lot right now. I wish that your family were better at listening to you. I would be angry too if that happened to me. Anger can be a lot easier to cope with than sadness sometimes. As for the nicotine use, I hope you can reach a healthier coping mechanism. What do you think some good options for that would be? -Ashley |
