05/17/2023 - BOYFRIEND
I have a boyfriend that I really like, but I don't always wanna kiss him and cuddle with him I do sometimes but not always. Sometimes I just wanna hang out. Can I still like someone without wanting to kiss them?
FROM MAKAYLA
Hey, I'm glad you reached out. I would say that it is perfectly acceptable to not want to do things like that. A healthy relationship is all about boundaries and respecting each other in every way. I hope you feel good with your feelings and know they are valid. FROM AMELIA
Hi there, my name is Amelia. You can totally still like someone without wanting to be intimate all the time! And don't feel like just because you did it once you always have to do it going forward. Sometimes you're just not in the mood to cuddle or kiss with someone and that's ok. And definitely don't do anything that you don't want to do or don't feel comfortable doing. Consent is very important in every relationship and you want to make sure both parties are honoring that. Definitely don't feel bad, spending quality time with your significant other can be just as important! FROM MIA
Hello! Thank you for reaching out to us! I understand how you feel when you say you don't want to always kiss and cuddle with your boyfriend. We all need to do things that are comfortable for ourselves. I think communicating what you want is always important. And yes, you can still like someone without having to be physical with them. Don't hesitate to reach out to us! FROM BRI
Hello! Thank you for reaching out! I feel like that is so relatable. I think there can definitely be a lot of pressure to be physically affectionate in a relationship but I think being interested in doing other things together is a positive sign that you like them as a person too :) Have you talked to him about how you are feeling yet? I think communication can be so important in a relationship and maybe clarifying if there are any misunderstandings about why you might not be interested in that time with that form of touch. I don't know if you have heard of it before, but the 5 love languages is a book and online website and it talks about how different people show and prefer to receive their form of love whether it is acts of service (like doing chores for someone), or physical touch (kissing and cuddling), or quality time (like hanging out or doing something together), gifts (little things that reminded you of them) or words of affirmation (compliments or validating words). Sometimes understanding the love language you prefer and the love language your prefer to give to others can be really insightful as well as knowing it about your boyfriend. Your feelings are very valid and its okay to want to spend time with someone you really like. I'd really love to hear more about how things are going and in the mean time I hope you get to have some fun hang out time :) FRom David
Hi my names David and thanks for reaching out! You can definitely like someone without wanting to kiss them and that's completely ok. I know that a relationship with another person is a lot more than just cuddling and kissing and it's normal to want to do other things with that person as well. If you really like your boyfriend you should suggest you guys go do something fun that you enjoy that doesn't necessarily involve touching like going for a walk or going out to eat. I think your feelings are valid of not wanting to always kiss and cuddle and your boyfriend should respect those boundaries! From Leslie
hi, thank you for sending in your question :) it is totally normal to not always want to be physically affectionate with your boyfriend! everyone has different levels of comfortability with that and every level is valid. i'd probably recommend talking to your boyfriend about it if you're feeling insecure over it so he can comfort you and you guys can talk about it, but in general you definitely don't need to worry about this. you can for sure still like someone without wanting to kiss them ^^ 05/05/2023 - I regret dating my boyfrienD
Don't get me wrong, I love my boyfriend but I feel upset about how we got together. We started dating after about a month of knowing each other and he asked me out over text. I wish I would've switched the topic when he asked me out so I could save it for real life and for a little longer. I just really wanted to be the one to ask him out and I wanted it to be special, like in real life at least. It's been bothering me and I've been having anxiety cuz of it becuz I'm afraid I'll have to leave my boyfriend but I love him and I still wanna be with him. I just wish I could change the past. Should I tell him? I'm afraid to.
FROM MIA
Thank you for reaching out to us! I see how that might be causing you to feel anxious. I think the most important thing from this situation is if you are happy with them. He might have been nervous to ask you out in person and did it over text instead. As long as you are happy with him, you don't have to worry about the past. It is important to focus on the future. You could tell him that you wanted to ask him out as well! If you ever want to talk more, don't hesitate to reach out to us! FROM BRI
Thanks for your message :) I totally get that stress and wishing you could make things different in your origin story. I think it can be super easy to get bogged down by the stress of trying to get everything "picture perfect" because I feel like there is sometimes a lot of pressure about that kind of stuff. Only you know if you should tell him and how he would respond, but I think that if you did tell him it might make him change how he does stuff in the future knowing that it is important that stuff like that is said in person rather over text. I mean you could always break up and start over with someone new, but I am assuming the reason you said yes in the first place was because you felt something special and wanted to get to know them better or liked them in general. I totally get wanting a sweet origin story, but I guess at the end of the day you have to decide whether or not the future sweet moments is worth some of the awkward first moments together. I don't know if that makes sense but I hope it helps. And I hope that you will get some more in person moments soon. FROM TESSA
Hey, thanks for reaching out! Sometimes in life we wish we could do things over, but sadly that is not the case. Maybe you can talk to him about other ways he can show his admiration in person. Or, you can have a "do-over" for asking each other out. You can pretend it's the first time! I know it's not as special, but don't let the past hinder you from making new fun memories with him. I think it's okay to tell him you wish things went differently, as long as you make it clear that doesn't change what you want out of the relationship. Communication and honesty is key. Good luck and feel free to write back about how it goes! FROM MAGGIE
hello! i'm sorry this is causing you so much anxiety, but i'm so happy that youve been able to find someone who makes you so happy and who you care about so much! it definitely sounds disappointing that he never asked you out in person. i think you should definitely tell him that this has been bugging you (if youre comfortable with it!). you deserve someone who will make you happy and won't cause you anxiety. if your boyfriend is this person, he will understand and do everything he can to help you feel better. if your boyfriend is not this person and tries to even break up with you because of it, then maybe you want to rethink whether you want him in your life in the first place! you deserve someone who always has your best interests at heart and wants to make you happy. i really hope that you can figure this out. i believe in you and am sending you a million hugs!! -maggie 04/26/2023 - AM I overthinking?
I started dating my boyfriend 2 days ago and I said "I love you" on the first day. He said he's not cool with that yet cuz it's still early in the relationship. I apologized and said we can go slow and I won't say that til he's ready. But it's making me think what if he doesn't actually like me that much, am I getting played
FROM TESSA
Hey there, thanks for reaching out. It can be really exciting when you get into a new relationship. Emotions are very high and it sounds like you really care for your boyfriend. Everyone develops feelings at their own pace, and the way you feel for him is totally valid. Even though he wants to take things slow, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you. Since he isn’t ready to say “I love you”, maybe you guys can talk about how to show affection for each other in different ways? Some people receive positivity and care though things quality time or acts of service. If you’re doubting his intentions, I think it’s good to have a conversation and establish expectations in the relationship. Communication is key, and both you and him deserve to feel fulfilled in this relationship. FROM LESLIE
hi, first of all thank you for reaching out to us! i think your response to him saying he's not ready yet was really good, it comes off super nice and mature. a lot of people have different opinions on saying "i love you" and even though his is different from yours that doesn't mean he doesn't like you :) i wouldn't be worried about being played unless you have concerns from other situations, in which i would recommend just talking to him about it straight up. but from what you've told me it seems like you guys are good, he just needs a little bit of time ^-^ FROM MIA
Hey! Thank you for writing to us! I understand how this situation may make you worry about your relationship with your boyfriend. I don’t think you are getting played. His response may not mean that doesn’t like you. He just might need more time before saying “I love too” back. Thank you for reaching out and I hope for the best! |
