38 days today..
My best friend took her life 38 days ago today. I still can't even believe it anymore. I just miss her so much. She gave homeless people all she had herself, that just shows how much love she gave out and never got back. She took her life because of bullying and other problem's {I can't say what} I don't have permission to tell others that part. Anyways, she walked into the room and just made it light up. Without her, I'm very lost. I NEVER thought id go to high school without her. Life without that light is so draining. the only thing I can look up to is volleyball mostly. I really really need her right now. I tried to take my life over the summer, when i got out she was there the only person who didn't look at me differently. I never want to go past 15 now. Thats the age she passed away. I want to figure a way out. I wanted your Guys's opinion on something to do on her birthday. I hope that I will be free one day, I'm already way better than I was.
September 10, 2025 Thanks for messaging Ask Peppy. We see your post and we’re really glad you reached out. If you feel you need extra support, please call or text the Suicide & Crisis line 988. It's a free, confidential support line available 24/7 for anyone experiencing emotional distress, a mental health crisis, or thoughts of suicide. from rosie
hey, that sounds like a really difficult thing to go through. suicide is a tough subject to talk about, especially when it seems like you're the only one who understands. I'm glad you reached out. your friend sounds like a really cool person. doing something for her birthday is really sweet of you, and it might be a good opportunity to work thru some of your feelings about it. write her a letter, maybe watch a movie/tv show you guys liked. writing letters to lost loved ones sometimes helps them feel closer (not always, but it might help). if you want any resources for helplines, we are available ofc but here are some others: (1.800.626.8137 - crisis line) also, don't forget that you are a valuable person. events like this can throw you off your axis and feel like your world fell down, so taking it a day at a time is perfectly okay. it's okay to have good and bad days - recovery isn't always "yay everything is awesome" so if you feel yourself getting down, don't get discouraged! there will be fun things too :). it sounds like you enjoy volleyball (awesome btw), I'm glad you have something to look forward to. if you have any other hobbies that you like (and maybe you did with your friend), that's a good option for taking some self-care time while also connecting with her. having you-time isn't selfish or bad, it can help you process upsetting things and your own feelings. again, I'm really sorry you're going through this. please reach out if you want to chat/text, we are all here for you! - rosie <3 from layla
Hello, I wanted to thank you for reaching out. It can be really hard to reach out. I am so sorry for you loss. your best friend seems like an amazing person. We need more people like her. Bullying is a really hard, difficult thing to deal with. Bullying or harassment should never be the way people talk to each other. I can relate to losing a friend. It's a really hard thing to go through from experience. One thing that I figure out that helped me was talking to someone. It can be hard, but sometimes it can really help. Another thing that helped me and may or may not help you is going on a walk and listening to music. These are some of my personal things i did when i lost my friend. Going into high school without someone you care for a lot must be very hard. Oooo volleyball is the BEST!! I play volleyball too. Volleyball is also a great way to let some emotions out. I am so glad you are still here. You matter and deserve support. Teen-talk is open from Monday-Thursday 4-9 and Friday 4-7 pm. My name is Layla I'd love to talk to you. from Flora
Hello, thank you for sharing your feelings. I understand how it can feel heartbreaking and challenging to navigate high school by yourself without your best friend. It's okay to grieve for your friend and take your time to process these emotions. That's good that volleyball is in your life and that's something that you can look up to during this time. One thing, I would like to share is that your best friend would want you to live life to the fullest, and I know it may seem hard at first but slowly it can get better as time passes. I understand your concerns and I'm glad that you are courageous to share these feelings on your heart. A couple of things that you could do on her birthday, is to experience what she would want to do for fun. A couple of ideas you can make her a card, plant something as to honor her which could be her favorite flowers, plants, trees anything that reminds of her. You can also make a photo memory book, playlist of her favorite songs, or visit her favorite places she always loved to go. These are a couple of ideas that you can do and be patient with yourself. Grief can be many emotions, and some days can be hard, so I want you to know you matter in this life. A quote I can share is- "Grief has no end it just becomes a part of who you are. Maybe that's the point to carry them with you, not in heartache & pain but in the love that never, ever goes away." I am glad that you are doing better now and keep going :) If you ever need to talk someone, I am here for you from hazel
Hey, thank you so much for reaching out. It takes a lot of courage to share something this heavy. I can tell how much your friend meant to you, and it’s completely natural to feel lost and drained after losing someone who brought so much light into your life. Grief doesn’t follow a timeline, and it’s normal for it to still feel raw weeks or months later. Feeling this deeply just shows how much she meant to you, and it’s okay that some days hit harder than others. But things will get better; and there are still things in life to look forward to, no matter how seemingly small they are. For her birthday, maybe you could do something small but meaningful in her memory, like writing her a letter, doing a kind act for someone else, or spending time doing something you both loved, like volleyball or listening to music she liked. Whatever feels right for you is perfect. I also want to make sure you’re safe right now. Feeling like you want to end your life is serious, and you deserve to get support. In the U.S., you can call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, and you’ll be connected with someone trained to listen and help. You don’t have to carry this alone. It’s okay to grieve, it’s okay to cry, and it’s okay to reach out for help when it feels too heavy. Loving her and honoring her memory while taking care of yourself is something im certain she would want for you. Wishing you all the best, Hazel <3 from dylan
Hi, thank you for reaching out to Teen Talk. You are so incredibly strong for being able to talk about your friend right now and I can't even begin to imagine the mix of emotions you must be feeling right now. This seems like such a recent loss for you, and by the way that you have described your friend I know she must have been such a light in your and many others' lives. I can definitely give you some options for things to do for her birthday! Some of the things I can think of are - Do what they love: Engage in activities that your friend enjoyed, such as watching their favorite movie or visit their favorite place. Another option is to visit their resting place: bring flowers or leave handmade notes to honor their memory. One of my last ideas is donate to a cause: contribute to a charity that prevents bullying, to honor their memory. I wish you luck in your grieving journey, and please feel free to reach back out. Grieving can be such an overwhelming and daunting journey, but I hope that you will be able to learn to live with this grief. Teen Talk is open from 4-9 p.m., Monday-Friday. Sincerely, -Dylan from chloe
Hi there, I know what its like to lose a friend. I lost my friend to suicide in June, I say lost like they wondered off during a hangout or just got their phone taken but the truth is I cant being myself to say dead because I don't want to accept it. Its going to be hard to turn the chapter when someone will no longer be in the story, It's hard when someone's gone and you need them. its okay to be lost without them. She seemed amazing once you find someone that lights up the room and makes you smile even on your hard days they are the ones worth keeping. just because they are physically gone doesn't mean they aren't here. i get not wanting to get older because I don't either. my friend was buried so whenever its their birthday we decorate their grave with their favorite flower and a gift, but please know that what u are going though your aren't alone. And that you do matter in this world. the pain of losing someone never really goes away you learn how to carry it with you. losing a friend at 15/16 always comes with anger, guilty, confusion and sadness and its totally normal. what sucks the most though is having so many question's left unknown and having the what if I could have done something ringing in your head. but please reach out if you need anything XOXO Chloe <3 from jamie
Hey, things sound really rough for you but I'm glad you reached out! Your best friend must have meant a lot to you, and I can't imagine what it's like to close someone so close. She seemed like a very compassionate and selfless person, and I think you can continue her legacy of helping others! Your best friend would definitely encourage you to keep going and find things that make life worth living for!!! Maybe for her birthday you could help out at a homeless shelter, the humane society, or even work at a food pantry. Or you could even do things that are just plain fun like going to the mall, jamming out to music, or playing video games :) I really want things to get better for you and I know they will!!! If you ever want to chat, feel free to reach out to us via text or social media. Wishing you the best! -Jaime 5/6/2025-Suiside
I’ve recently lost my best friend to be exact 27 days ago. I really miss her. Well now I’m going through what she went through and now I understand why she did what she did. But I still miss her like crazy. I’d give anything to see her again. It breaks my heart her kind loving soul is gone. She supported everyone even her bullies. She’s or she was the reason of my life. Now I’m lost.
from Emma
Hii! I'm Emma from teentalk. I'm glad you reach out to us and thank you for sharing something so personal to you! It is very brave of you, and we are really proud of your braveness. I'm sorry that you have to go through such pain, especially losing someone so dear and close to you. I understand and your feeling are valid. Your best friend sound like a beautiful and amazing person. But don't forget you are too; you are the best of yourself and that is all it matters. You being here can carry on those beautiful memories you have with your best friend. You can live on her mind set and support others like she as a reminder of an amazing person she is. But the most important part is you being safe. So don't let those negativities let you down, you are amazing and important as all. If you need someone to talk, teentalk and I will be here for you from your lowest to your highest. You are very brave for talking about your feelings and issue like this. So, reach out to us, text us or call us, we would be more than thrill to hear from you!
from Eric
Hey, I am so sorry to hear that you've been going through this. Losing a friend so close to you, especially to something like that, can be unimaginably difficult. I understand it feels like the pain will never go away and you are all alone, but I promise you this isn't the case. While it may take a long time for the pain to subside, with the help of those who love and care about you, you will get through it! Also, you're never alone. Like I said, the people that love, support, and care about you are here for you. Now, I don't know your friend personally, but the way you describe her, she sounds like the type of person that would want you to fight through this and not succumb to those awful feelings. I know when I had feelings of wanting to do things like this, I would always think back to how much pain I would cause the people I love and care about, and I realized that I the pain I was feeling in that moment in time, was nothing compared to the pain I would cause the people I loved. This thought was what always pulled me out of dark times. I strongly encourage you to message or call in to the crisis and prevention line 988 if you're ever feeling like you're in a dark place and need help coming out. I believe in you to come out of this! -Eric
from dehlia
Hello, I'm Dahlia from Teentalk. I am very sorry for your loss. It is painful to loose someone you loved dearly. Your best friend indeed sounded like a kind person. It is saddening to hear that she had bullies; she did not deserve to be treated that way. There will be days the loss of your friend will hit you hard; you may cry harder on some days and will feel exhausted because of the heartache. However, I want you to take care of yourself. Being suicidal and also loosing a friend can put you at risk of potential harm to yourself. The wording you are using, such as wanting to "see her again" and that you are "going through what she went through" makes me worry for your health and wellbeing. I care about you, and I hear the pain you are going through, so I really hope you will reach out to a mental health professional or a help line that can help with suicide. You do not have to be alone on the journey to healing. If you'd like, here at Teentalk we can locate resources for you to use and we can also try and help you make a phone call to a help line if you feel nervous. I want you to keep living, and so does everyone else in Teentalk. Your life is worth so much; you are worth so much. Therefore, I hope you will reach out for help so that you can find happiness. from sarah
Hello, I’m Sarah from teentalk. Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to us, that’s very difficult especially after such a major loss like this. It sounds like she was such a bright light and a beautiful soul, giving support to those who hurt her. I am so sorry you have to experience such an impactful loss. I don’t think anyone should have to go through something so hard. I’m so very sorry that you are feeling lost in these times. I encourage you to reach out to us, or explore our resources page in times of hardship. My heart goes out to you and those affected, and thank you again so much for having bravery and reaching out to us. 08/19/2025-My best Friend
My best friend committed suiside this month, I miss her SO much. My heart just breaks knowing I’ll never see,hear,talk to her again. I understand why she did it now. I’ve thought about taking my life, especially since I don’t have my best friend by my side. I miss her so much and I just want her back. I don’t know what to expect anymore. I just really want to have her sweet loving soul back.
*****Some identifying information was removed from this message for this person’s privacy. You matter, and we’re here for you. Thanks for sharing with us. **If you feel you need extra support, please call or text the Suicide & Crisis line 988. It's a free, confidential support line available 24/7 for anyone experiencing emotional distress, a mental health crisis, or thoughts of suicide. from kit
Thank you for reaching out at this difficult time, it’s incredibly brave and it sounds like she was an amazing friend. It’s okay to miss her and to feel lost. When my cousin died by suicide I didn’t really know what to do. I also had thoughts of ending my life but I’m really glad I didn’t. He wouldn’t have wanted that for me and I don’t think your friend would either. All those painful feelings I felt when he died would happen to my family if I took my life. The more I thought about it the more reasons I could find to not end my life. Please try to find those reasons for yourself and if you can’t you can always reach out to 988 or any crisis line. If you are feeling overwhelmed or alone you can also reach out to teen talk. I’m Kit and I volunteer 4-7 on Friday or any other volunteer would be happy to talk the other days of the week. You are not alone and you never have to be but it is also okay to feel alone. Whatever you feel is valid and please have grace with yourself. I’m so sorry that you lost someone you love so much. I’m really proud of you for reaching out and sharing this. from hazel
Hey, I'm so sorry you're going through this, and thank you for reaching out to us. It takes a lot of courage to share something so personal. Losing your best friend and missing her must be incredibly hard. I can tell that this weighs on you a lot, and what you wrote about thinking of harming yourself just shows how deeply you're hurting right now. But it's not something you need to carry alone though. If you ever need support or someone to talk to, always feel free to text or call in. If you're thinking of taking your own life, please call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, and you'll be connected to someone who can listen and help you. It's obvious you loved your friend so so much. Holding on to her memory is an important part of honoring her, but making sure to take care of yourself is just as important. Surround yourself with people who care and let yourself grieve, cry, and feel whatever you feel. I know this is incredibly hard, and I can't fully understand what you're going through, but know that your pain is real, and it's okay to feel it all of it. You're strong enough to get through this, even though it might feel impossible at times. You don't have to do it alone, and you deserve kindness and support. Wishing you all the best, Hazel <3 from quinn
hello, I'm Quinn. thank you for messaging, I know it can be scary to reach out for support. I'm so sorry to hear that your friend died, that is so painful and I'm so sorry for your loss. I know that you are hurting right now and it ok to grieve. having someone close to you commit suicide is really traumatic. there is nothing i can say to take your pain away. its good to reach out, and talk about it, it makes it less heavy to share the burden with others. if you have people in your life that you are comfortable with, you should talk to them and tell them about how you are feeling. and tell an adult that you are feeling like taking your life. other people can support you and find someone to support you if they can't. if you don't want to talk to friends or family, I encourage you to talk to a teacher or school counselor or a therapist if you have access to one. I don't know what is helpful for you, some people like to hear about all the good things in life, for others that's not helpful it makes them sadder and angrier. I also don't know your life, if you have people in your corner. but i can tell you that i already care about you, and i don't want you to die. one day in the future you will achieve your dream or maybe found something that your passionate about and you will be grateful that you didn't give up. TeenTalk is here for you if you want to talk more, you can call 360.397.2428 or text 360.984.0936 we are open Monday - Thursday 4-9 and Friday 4-7.
from eric
Hi, thank you for reaching out. I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain you're experiencing right now, and it's totally normal to feel the way you feel right now. It's clear from your words that you truly cared for her. I deeply encourage you to not carry this pain alone. You deserve support and care, and it's totally okay to reach out to us or someone in your life you really trust, when you're ready. You deserve and can get through this! You can take as much time as you need. If you ever feel overwhelmed and need extra support, you can call or text the crisis line at 988. I know you can get through this! -Eric from dahlia
Hello, I'm Dahlia. I am sorry for your loss. Grief is something that is difficult and as I've heard from others who have lost a loved one, never really goes away. You should continue to stay alive so that you can accomplish the things your friend wasn't able to. I'm certain it would make her happy to see you thrive and experience new things in life that she wasn't able to. Also, although it may seem like an easy solution to get rid of life's difficulties by taking your life away, it will bring more consequences. I remember there was a saying I heard that said it isn't your life you want to take away, but the pain. In other words, you want to live your life but there are obstacles making it hard for you to keep moving forward. Please remember that although your friend isn't physically here anymore, you both had loving memories together, ones of which you can experience with others and can tell people about. Let your friend continue to live through the memories you shared together. from dylan
Hello, I want to first say that it takes an immense amount of courage to reach out to us. Telling someone about what you are feeling can be hard to do. Thank you for writing us. I'm so sorry for your loss, losing someone that you cherish is one of the hardest experiences to go through and I can tell that you have so much love for her. Although right now you may feel an overwhelming sense of grief and uncertainty about what is to come, I hope you know that although it will be hard, you can learn to live with this grief. To learn to live with grief, you can practice self-care: allowing yourself to feel and giving yourself the permission to experience all of the emotions, establishing a routine which includes eating, exercise, and sleep to regain control, taking care of your basic needs such as staying hydrated, expressing your feelings whether through talking, writing, or other creative outlets, and last but certainly not least, seeking support: if it is possible, stay connected with those you love and consider seeking professional help if needed. I want to mention that I haven't been in the shoes that you are in now, and I can't begin to imagine how you are feeling. You sound like an extraordinary friend with so much love to give, and I believe that we need more people like that in the world. If you wouldn't mind me asking, after the loss of your best friend, are there particular times, experiences, or days that are harder than others for you? What do you do or experience now that makes you remember your best friend, or makes you feel closer to them? I want to thank you again for writing and sharing this with me. This sounds like such a difficult thing to experience and again I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish you the best of luck in your grief journey. Feel free to please write back, text or call the Teen Talk number, or message on Snapchat or Instagram. If you would like to speak with me, I am at Teen Talk on Wednesdays from 4-7 and would love to talk and hear about your best friend. Sincerely, -Dylan 02/15/2023 - MY SISTER
my sister tried to take her life this morning and i sat there holding her hands she has been doing better she tried to ***** and i miss her she is still in the hospital.
*****Some identifying information was removed from this message for this person’s privacy. FROM MAGGIE
hello! i am so, so glad you reached out to us, and i'm sorry that you had to go through all of this. coming this close to losing someone you love is terrifying. and it hurts. and it's okay to feel sad, or scared, or even angry, because it's hard. it's really hard. but i'm also glad that you were able to be there for her, holding her hands. i know you and your support must mean the world to her. your sister is no doubt hurting right now, but so are you, and again, that's so, so valid. if there's anyone you feel comfortable talking to, like a trusted adult figure, or maybe a friend, or maybe even us here at TeenTalk, i encourage you to reach out. i know there are people willing to listen to you, or even just offer you a shoulder to lean on if you need it <3 right now, you can support your sister by doing what you've always done - be there for her and show her your love and support. you are incredibly strong and resilient, and i'm proud of you for continuing to love your sister for who she is. maybe try finding little things to share with her that you both enjoy - is there a childhood tv show she liked to watch? a snack that she enjoys? a favorite sweater that she wears all the time? doing little things for the ones we love can really add up and become a huge source of strength. but ultimately, don't feel as if you need to take her well-being solely onto your shoulders. i'm sure she knows the love you have for her, and that you care so much for her - but a lot of this is also out of your control, and that's okay. you're going to be okay. sending you and your sister all the hugs in the world <3 -maggie FROM DAVID
Thank you so much for reaching out my name is David and I know its a difficult time for you but I'm glad you were able to be brave enough to reach out. I hope your sister is doing better and that she'll be alright and that you and the rest of your family will be too but I understand that'll be hard for you to forget what happened. You sound like you care about your sister a lot and I'm sure she cares about you a great deal too even though she might not have felt like herself lately. Your sister has probably been going through a very tough time and I'm sure she knows that you. I think the strength you've showed will really help you guys. If your sister does end up getting therapy, I think you should too since I know even though you may not have been physically hurt, this experience has most likely hurt you emotionally and I think therapy can help you and your sister. You've shown incredible power by being with your sister while she was hurt even though I'm sure you were hurt too seeing her like that but I think she'll really appreciate your support after she gets better. Hopefully she'll come to realize how much you care and won't attempt anything again. I can't begin to understand how terrible this is but I think you will be a lot of support for your sister and your family and I hope that you know your not alone and that you can always reach out to us, a teacher, a trusted friend or counsellor. Again, I really appreciate you reaching out and the incredible amount of willpower you have while going through this situation. FROM COREY
Hello. I am so sorry that you both had that experience. You are a good sister for being there and holding her hands in a time of need. This can still have quite a toll on your mental health. Do not be afraid to reach out to people about how you're feeling. This could be trusted loved ones, teachers, school counselors, or close friends. In order to be able to support others, a person needs to have support for themselves. Your sister going to need some extra support at this time, but so are you. I wish you much luck for whatever the next steps are for you and your sister. We're here to talk if you ever need. You can call, text, email, or message us on social media. Sending lots of love, -Corey |
