05/16/2023 - I have a lack of confidence in defending myselF
I guess you can say I get bullied at school. I got beat up in early March this year and every other day kids say mean things to me. But whenever they do, I freeze. I don't know what to do I usually just act like I don't notice or walk away but I wish I could stand up for myself so they won't do it again.
FROM AMELIA
I'm sorry you're getting bullied at school, that can make things really difficult and stressful. I understand how it can be hard to stand up for yourself in the moment when faced with conflict. Just walking away is a good way to handle the situation but I can see how that can be frustrating when you want to stop it from happening again. I'm sure you've already thought about changing your routes in-between classes so you can avoid these people but maybe you could take a friend along with you. Having a friend there might give you more confidence to stand up for yourself and they can also be there to make sure nothing bad happens. Thanks for reaching out and I hope things get better for you soon - Amelia FROM DAVID
That sounds absolutely terrible. Standing up for yourself is definitely the hardest thing in school and I don't blame you for also thinking it's scary. It's hard for kids, teens, adults, and everyone in between. You can try ignoring them but I know that doesn't work most of the time. Fighting back probably isn't the answer since that just invigorates the bullies but maybe trying to find ways to avoid them completely by using different parts of the school or walking with people you know so that the bullies are less inclined to harass you. Beating you up is a very serious offense and they should get consequences for it if you talk to an adult at your school. I really think that you are very brave and should not let these bullies get to you. FROM BRI
I really wish that people didn't bully others. I think that sometimes that there is a lot of power in waking away, and can sometimes be really powerful. Especially because a lot of people who say mean things are just feeling hurt and taking it out on other people. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself, I feel like that is a lot of people's reaction. You don't deserve to be bullied at all. You deserve to be safe. From Leslie
im so sorry to hear this :( bullying absolutely sucks and no one deserves to be treated like that. i don't blame you for freezing because it sounds like a very scary situation. i think reaching out to teachers, your parents, or any other trusted adults could help a lot and they would probably be able to fix the problem. i'm glad you want to defend yourself but i would also be cautious, since they've gotten violent before. your safety is the number one priority and i wouldn't want you to do anything that could put that in jeopardy. just remember that what those kids say isn't true and you don't need to pay them any mind, don't forget that you're an amazing human being and bad people shouldn't dim your light. i hope that everything ends up working out well :) FROM MIA
Hey! Thank you for writing to us! I'm sorry to hear that you're getting bullied that must be so hard to go through. Have you considered reporting that behavior? I know it's scary but the adults at school might be able to get a no-contact order against them so you won't have deal with their bullying. Again, I'm so sorry that you are going through that. I cannot image how difficult that must be. Thank you for reaching out and if you ever want to talk, we're here for you! 04/30/2023 - I don't feel safe at school
I used to have a best friend who I thought was my best friend. I had a boyfriend that harassed me sexually so I broke up with him because of it. My "best friend" said she was there for me and convinced me to leave him cuz what he did was disgusting, and it was. But immediately after I left him she blocked me on everything and asked him out. This was during the summer so once school started again she started spreading rumors about me and trying to get other people to hate me as much as she hated me. Eventually she made my friends turn on me and convinced one of them to beat me up in early March this year. I was so scared, so many people were recording. When she threw me down and was beating me I didn't even feel it, it was peaceful. But once she was done and walked away, I immediately started crying. Ever since then I've felt scared to be at school and to be around big crowds, I feel like everyone hates me and wants to jump me. I'm intimidated by everyone. I don't want anyone to look at me or talk to me or anything. They haven't touched me but they still spread rumors and it got so bad I got put on meds for anxiety and I get to leave class early before the bell rings so I don't have to walk with the crowd. I just wish I could feel normal at school but I don't. It's so much stress on me I can't take it anymore I get hives on my face from the anxiety. I just want to be happy and loved.
FROM DAVID
Hi I'm David and I really appreciate your bravery in reaching out. I'm really sorry this is happening to you. People shouldn't turn on you like that or beat you up in the hallways. Despite these selective people I do hope you know that you are loved by many even if you don't know it. Have you tried talking to a counselor or administrator at your school? If they didn't or won't do anything then talk to your parents as well. If you've already talked to them and they also won't do anything then you could reach out to a trusted teacher you like at your school. Also getting beaten in the hallway is assault and you could report that to the police who could take further action. If there's a recording of it online somewhere then that's just further proof and if this many people saw it happen then that's a lot of witnesses. It takes a lot of bravery and resilience to keep going after all of that harassment and I'm really happy that you are still going and things will get better. In the meanwhile though I hope you stay and strong and know that a lot of people support you, including me. FROM MIA
Thank you for opening up about this. It sounds incredibly difficult to be dealing with all of that. It definitely sounds like she wasn't a good friend at all and what she did to you was horrible. It must have been very traumatic for you. No one should ever have to go through something like that. It was a good choice to leave your boyfriend after what he had put you through. Have you thought about reporting their behavior to someone like a school counselor or police? They could help with making you feel safer at school by getting no-contact/restraining order on them. It is scary, but sometimes it can be really helpful. I understand wanting to feel happy and loved. If you're still struggling with what your boyfriend did, the YWCA may be a good resource. They have a call line and support groups. If you ever want to reach out to us, we would love to hear from you! FROM R
I can't even begin to imagine how horrible and traumatizing that must have been. You are loved, and you are important! You should not have had to deal with such horrible things and it must be so hard dealing with all of the aftereffects now. We are always here to listen and it is so understandable that you want to feel normal in school. You are strong! I can hear your strength in what you've gone through and healing takes time and you have the ability to heal no matter how impossible it may seem right now. from bri
Hey, Thank you for reaching out, I just want to say you are so SO valid in absolutely everything that has happened. It must be really hard to have people who you trusted become untrustworthy and feel unsafe. While it sounds like your "best friend" convinced you to dump this guy for the wrong reasons, I am still really glad they were able to give you the push that you needed in order to get away from a bad situation. I can understand the anxiety of feeling so exposed at school and not feeling safe and maybe like you always have to have your defenses up. I might not have had the same thing happen, but when people are making you feel unsafe it is really hard to not carry that everywhere. You absolutely deserve to be happy and loved. I am glad that your school was able to help you a bit Have you been able to talk to anyone at school about how you are feeling? I feel like sometimes people like teachers have a really good perspective on things because they are there with you a lot. That sounds like so much stress they have put you through and I really hope that they can see that putting you down won't make them feel better. FROM TESSA
Hi there. Wow, it sounds like you have been going through a lot. I can't even imagine what that's like, and I am so incredibly sorry you're dealing with this. I really think you should report this to a teacher or faculty member at your school. If people were recording, try to get the video so you can use it as evidence. It is NEVER okay for anyone to put their hands on you like that, and you deserve justice. It can be really scary to come forward with a story like this, especially with the pressures of the rumors at school. Just know that what they did to you is NOT okay, and no one deserves violence. I really recommend talking to your school counselor and coming up with a plan to how they can make you feel more safe at school. You deserve to feel comfortable and safe in a learning environment. FROM MAGGIE
hello! thank you so much for reaching out. im sorry this is happening to you. it sucks when someone you thought you could trust ends up being someone you can't trust at all, and it really hurts because you not only have to deal with the consequences of their actions, but you've also lost a friend. have you tried reaching out to a trusted adult about your anxiety? as much as i wish i could just send you virtual hugs and squeeze out all the anxiety, someone who's trained in anxiety or has experience with it may prove a good resource to help you overcome your barrier. someone like your school counselor, if you have one, could be good to talk to! and finally, i just wanted to say that you WILL meet your people one day. they might be in classes with you right now, and youve never talked to them. they could be that one person you walk past every day on your way to lunch. people who will genuinely care about you and lift you up are out there!! i encourage you to take this chance and reach out to someone you might never have talked to otherwise. maybe you might find a new friend - someone who can stand at your side and support you. -maggie FROM A
It may not feel as though you are loved, but believe me, you are. Even if it doesn't seem like it, there is definitely someone either in your household or even at school that truly cares about you. Being through such hurtful and traumatic experiences makes it unbelievably hard to trust anyone ever again, but as hard as it might seem, the pay off to step out of your comfort zone and try to talk to and get to know just one person, is definitely worth the initial fear. 01/08/2022 - health class
hi my name is ***** i just would love to say hello and keep up the good work you all will be here from me by call,text,email ok look forder talking to you guys thank you for being here other teens like me we find do find this helpful who ever idea this was it was a very good one i will like this having it if something ever pops up at my work i do what you do but at a school in person from 8:00am-12:00am so that is not fun at all not for me.
*****Some identifying information was removed from this message for this person’s privacy FROM MONIKA
Hi!! I’m glad to hear that we are helpful! We’re always looking forward to hearing from you! If you want to talk about school or work stress, that’s totally something you can hit us up with. We’re all teens here so we’ll definitely understand lol. It sounds like you’re stressed out by school which is very relatable. Whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed by schoolwork (very often haha) I take a break to just eat snacks and watch a comfort show/movie. Various hobbies are also a good way to practice self-care when you’re stressed out. I like doodling and playing video games. :) And of course, if you just need someone to listen we’re here for that too and that’s totally okay!!! I’d be glad to lend a listening ear! In case you don’t know our hours, we’re open 4-9 p.m mondays-thursdays, and 4-7 on fridays! Sending hugs, Monika :3 FROM TESSA
Hello! Thank you so much for all of your positive feedback. We are so glad that you support TeenTalk and what we do!! It sounds like you have a very busy schedule, I hope you are using some of your free time to relax and do things you enjoy. Having long days can be very tiring, so make sure to take care of yourself and get lots of rest. I recommend engaging in a relaxing activity like coloring or meditating to practice some self-care. Take care :) - Tessa |
