2/4/2025 I feel like i'm trapped :/
School, stress, family
I'm a straight a student and I know that I place too much pressure on myself for grades, but I feel worthless without them. I feel like I'm not good enough without the grades. I feel like a burden to my family and they don't let me express myself. I'm just so tired all the time. I graduated therapy already and am not able to go back again because of insurance, but I really need help. It's all so paralysing and I don't know how but I manage to keep my grades up. from Heather
Hello there! I am so sorry that you are feeling trapped, but it's okay and valid to feel this way! It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. And I understand what it's like to feel that your grades define you. But you are enough, with or without your grades. You matter in this world, and you are so much more than your grades. Your family and friends love you for your beautiful personality, not just for how well you succeed in school. But it is absolutely amazing that you care about your grades, I'm sure you will be successful in any career you choose with your motivation :). I am sorry to hear that your family doesn't let you express yourself. You aren't a burden to your family, and you deserve support from them. You deserve a safe space with people that allow you to express yourself judgement-free! Maybe you could go on a walk, text/call a friend, spend time with a pet, journal/draw/dance/etc if you find yourself needing an outlet to express yourself :). Please remember to take time to care/treat yourself, you deserve it! Even if it's just a sweet treat after dinner or spending 15 minutes with your pet or reading your favorite book. You deserve rest. You are so so strong for being able to handle all of this while keeping your grades up. But it wouldn't make you any less amazing if your grades slipped, you are so much more than that! I'm glad that you are wanting to start therapy again and am so sorry that insurance is getting in the way of that. I believe that you will get through this. Please reach out to Teentalk if you want to talk, need someone to listen, or are just bored. We care about you :) -Heather from eric
Hi, thank you so much for reaching out! I'm really sorry you're going through such a stressful experience. This is very important, grades do not define who you are. While having good grades is a great achievement that you should be proud of, that's only something you're doing, not who you are as a person. Now, I'm not at all saying that you should let your grades fall a bit. If it's important to you to have straight As, then that's great! However, you seem like a very smart person, so I would advise you to try your best to find at least a few hours on a day, or a whole day a week if possible, to have for yourself in order to relax, decompress, and destress. You can spend that time however you want, whether it be with friends or yourself, I would just highly recommend that you find to time for it. With your family, I would try to have a calm discussion with them, and tell them how you feel. Trust me, you are not a burden to them. I hope everything improves, you'll get through this! -Eric from sage
Hi there! thank you so much for writing to Ask Peppy. I understand how hard it is being a student in today's generation, and how you feel that you need to have good grades to not feel like a burden. But just know that grades do not define the type of person you are, pressure is something that can be good but also really tiring for your mental health. I have been in situations before where I felt I needed to have B's or better and at least a 3.5 GPA to feel like I would get into college. To be honest my family has not pressured me about my grades before, but I do empathize with your situation and understand that it is draining. I's sorry to hear that you are not able to get further therapy sessions due to insurance, but I'll always recommend the school counselor or even our services of Teen Talk to help with letting out any suppressed emotions that you have been building up. I wish you luck on any further troubles or stress that you may face and I'm proud of you for maintaining that A' even throughout all the feelings that you expressed. If you ever need to talk to anyone, feel free to write back to Ask Peppy, text, or even call if you are able to. Much thanks, Sage.
from hailey
Hey I’m so grateful you reached out I can relate to your situation it was a similar experience to what I went through but not quite the same though things that helped me through it was I would type out what I was feeling in my notes app when I was feeling that thing in the moment wether I was feeling numb, tired, sad, angry, happy or scared I was never very good at journaling but typing it in the moment in my fun while the feelings were fresh helped me process my emotions, along with like showing me that I had these feelings even if I had trouble showing them and it’s something I highly recommend. Other wise if you have a close friend you want to reach to you should you wouldn’t be a burden and if they feel you are they aren’t a very good friend, and feeling like a burden to your family can be a very real and isolating feeling but expressing that to them can often help them understand how to better help you and how you are feeling. I really hope this helps and I’m so proud of you for your grades those are absolutely amazing thank you for reaching out and feel free to text in -Hailey :) from may
Hi! I'm May. That sounds really difficult and I'm sorry you feel that way. I can relate to that sometimes and I understand how you feel and why you feel that way. Something I often keep in mind is that it is not the end of the world if I get a bad grade. I'm still going to go to college and my life is going to go on, and it's not like I'm going to fail or anything. Ds get degrees. I'm proud of you for managing to keep your grades up while going through so much at once. That's hard but I'm glad you're able to push through and still do so well in school despite that. I do however think it is important to pace yourself so you don't get burnt out. One thing I think is really important is to is to prioritize self care over your grades. Ultimately, your happiness and health are WAY more important that your grades will ever be. Make sure you make time to take care of yourself and do things that make you happy. For example, find hobbies you like and make sure you make time for that. Or, spend time with friends and laugh with them (laughter is actually great for your physical and mental health!). It is really important that you spend your time doing things other than stressing about school and doing homework. I'm really glad you reached out and we're always here if you want to talk more! -May from dahlia
Hi there! I'm Dahlia from Teentalk. It indeed sounds like you have a lot of pressure and stress placed on you. However, I want you to know that you are someone even outside of school. Your grades, achievements, and other factors may seem important and may gain you a reputation, but you are still someone even without them. I believe that your health is what is most important. If you lose your health, you become unable to live your life to the fullest. Therefore, what matters is that you are happy and healthy. I know that prioritizing these two things can be difficult as a student, and even more when you are mentally and physically exhausted, but in situations like these you truly learn how important these two things are. I also want you to know that you are not alone though. I am a first generation student and I also try to maintain perfect grades and feel like a failure if I do bad at school, but you know, I still am someone outside of school. You and me both are individuals with hopes, dreams, and goals. We both have things we like to do, such as watching shows or reading books. Yes, what matters is that we stay true to ourselves. To feel comfortable with yourself you do need peace though, so I do think going back to therapy may help. However, therapy is like a tool; it can only do so much to help. You need to find tools that will help you in times of stress and sadness, and apply them to your life situations. But there are times where these tools are not enough. I suggest you reach out to your insurance again. Mental health is like a rollercoaster, so it is odd to hear that you cannot go back. Also, as someone who had very bad anxiety a few years ago, I understand the stress of navigating school when you just can't keep up anymore. Make sure to try and meet people who will love you for who you are, and make sure to do the things you like. This way, you do not forget that you are worthy even without your grades or your title as a student. Also, I recommend you reach out to your insurance, and try to check to see if your school can provide resources for completing schoolwork. They may offer accommodations. Also, you are not a burden. If people around you are making you feel this way then that is not your fault. People who make others feel bad are projecting their negative emotions, which is not your fault. You have worked very hard, but you now need to find ways to prioritize your mental and physical health. from stella
I can completely understand feeling overwhelmed by feeling like you have to live up to these expectations you set for yourself, but it's important to remember that things like grades don't define you as a person. The people in your life will not look down on you if you don't achieve everything you set out to. If anything, it affirms your humanity. You can't do everything, and that's okay. It's important to listen to yourself, and to understand your limits. Remember to take time for yourself, and do things you like to do, simply because you want to. Personally, I like to listen to music, read, and play with my dog. It can really be anything that brings you joy. 11/22/2024 why don't the kids talk to us
I am in high school and am in sped classes for special learning. I am asking why the kids who aren't in sped are not mean to us but dont talk to us. We are in the same school and we should be talking all to each other I think. I want them to talk to me.
from sarah
Hi! I’m Sarah, Thank you so much for taking the time to ask Teen Talk about this topic, I know that must have taken a lot of courage. I would encourage introducing yourself to those that you would like to make conversation with. In my experience, I have had to reach out to people in my school in order to talk to them. Many people in my school keep to themselves, but I’m sure they would be open to being friends with you. In making regular conversation, a connection can be made, and gradually you guys can become closer and closer to each other! Especially if you guys share class periods such as lunch, a connection will be fostered between you guys. Just make sure to not stress about what to say too much, and let it flow naturally. Thank you again for reaching out to us! We are so happy to answer. from emma
Hii, I’m Emma! Thank you so much for reaching out to us, we really appreciate it and you are so brave to talk about your problem. It is hard to make conversation sometimes so don’t overthink it. Other people may think that you don’t like making conversations or scared to make you uncomfortable. But don’t worry about it. You mentions that you have class with them, you can start off with small talk. Nothing specials, just of how the class doing for you or for them, ask about things you'd guys learn in that class and how they are feeling about it. “What do you think about the assignment or the test?” “Did you understand the material or how you feel about the topic today?” Just be casual about it, and don’t stress out about the conversation not being long because the first conversation is always awkward so just follow the flow. Slowly but surely you guys will be able to have casual conversation. Overall do what you think is best and comfortable for you! But I think you will do great! Again thank you for reaching out to us and I hope you will have a great time making conversation! from marley
Hey! Thank you for out, it can be difficult sometimes so I really appreciate you contacting us! I can see why it might be frustrating to not have the same communication you would with other people in your special education classes, and I definitely agree, it’s important to make friends with new people regardless of what classes you take—-talking with new people can always be nerve wracking but if you’re open to starting new conversations with people outside of your classes i’m sure they’d love to meet/get to know you! You seem like a very incredible person, and I think it’s very brave of you to want to reach out to new people at your school! I hope everything finds you well and i’d love to chat with you! — Marley :) from hailey
Hey thank you for reaching out this is a really big thing in lots of high schools and it made me sad to read this. A big reason kids would do that is cause yes they acknowledge bullying is wrong so they won’t be mean, but there is still a really big stigma around special needs kids, and that creates a barrier for some kids to want to talk to kids with special needs. A lot of people acknowledge the difference between them and others, not just sped kids and neurotypical people but just all teenagers, because of that teenagers don’t interact with people who aren’t like them. Then again not all teenagers are like that some kids don’t care about differences and will interact with everyone, but it’s definitely not everyone and it’s hard to find people who are willing to talk with everyone. I wish it was more people so you would be able to identify them easier but there’s not. The best way to find those people who will reach out to you is to find something about yourself that you really love and enjoy then join a club or sport that is centered around that thing, or even if it’s not necessarily a hobby but a personality trait make that something people can see about you right away it will make other people want to reach out to you. I hope I was able to help and I really wish I knew you so I could be a person to talk to you. -Hailey :) from chloe
Hi there, I'm Chloe. Thanks for reaching out, this made me sad thinking about how so many people are treated so differently whether it be from how they act,look or even talk. A lot of people don't really talk to people they don't know that well, especially if they are scared they might say the wrong thing. We can't change how people are but we can make a difference. I really wish I knew you because I would talk to you in a heartbeat. There are so many people out there that could have so many same interests and hobbies as you but are scared. In high school people slowly move away from bullying and move to the "silent" treatment and act like the person isn't there especially if they aren't in the "standards" of today's society. from kit
Thank you for reaching out to teen talk, I’m Kit. I agree with you that everyone should be talking to each other. I have been a TA in SPED before. It was my favorite class I ever took. Some of my best friends I met in the SPED program! But I really wish people would talk to kids in the program more. It makes me sad that people don’t take the time to get to know the kids in the SPED program or ignore them. I don’t know why they don’t, I think maybe they don’t want to get out of their comfort zone. Sometimes I think people also don’t know what to do and instead of doing something they decide to do nothing. I wish I had a better answer than this and I wish people were more open minded and wanting to get to know people and talk to them more. 10/20/24-school work
i am stressed out about school. i don't understand some of the assignments and i am getting far behind. i feel too embarrassed to ask my friends. what would you do?
from Danielle
Hello, I’m Danielle from TeenTalk! School in general is stressful especially when work piles up. I am grateful that you reached out to us. It is really brave of you! I understand your situation since I’m going through it as well. It is embarrassing to ask friends and family when this happens. You could talk with a person like a teacher, or someone close to you about it. It is helpful to reach out to whom you trust if you feel comfortable. What works for me is having a planner or a virtual calendar to keep track of assignments. You can decorate it as well and cross of as you go! It’s really exciting when you see what you have finished. If you need a break then you can take a 5-10 minute break. Go on a walk, eat or do a relaxing activity when you get tired of catching up. Another thing I would recommend is to know the office hours of your teachers. They can help with homework and give guidance. If you do not understand the assignments, study groups are also useful. Sometimes working with others helps you have more ideas and thoughts that may be distinct to yours. Or watch videos about the topic and taking notes. Tutoring is also a useful resource in school. I hope this helps! TeenTalk is here to offer you support. Thank you for contacting us :) - Danielle from Emma
Hey there! I’m Emma, thank you for reaching out to us, I really appreciate that you reached out to us. Currently I’m also going through the same with you and I totally understand your situation. It is hard to keep up with school and daily life, so take a deep breath before starting things. First of all, to keep track of all your assignments, I think you should make a planner for your events and assignments. It would help you a lot to see what things you have that day. It is alright not to understand your classwork or assignment, your teacher would love to help you to understand it. You can always come to them during office hours and they would definitely help you out. And there is nothing to be embarrassed about asking for your friends help, we are going through the same things, they would love to give you a hand when you need it. So don’t worry about being judged because you are so brave to know your issue and you are trying to face it. I hope you find this helpful and please don’t be shy to reach out again with any of your issues. Teentalk and I would love to hear from you and we will definitely be there and support you. Again thank you so much for reaching out and I hope you have an amazing day! -Emma- from Chloe
School can be very stressful at times especially when ur getting behind and not getting some assignments is totally normal. I struggle with this a lot in school and I also get embarrassed to ask for help from my friends because I feel like they are going to judge me but they never do. What i do to help me catch up is I pick a class I'm behind in and I write the topics i'm strong in and ones i dont get and take about 20 minutes on the topics i don't understand and sorta teach myself the topic in a way I understand. After the 20 minutes take a small 5/10 minute break like go for a walk. After the break move on to the next topic. But don't be afraid to ask for help tutoring is an amazing support to if you're still struggling to catch back up. Teen talk is always here for you and to support you thank for reaching out xoxo chloe<3 from Marley
Heyyy!! Thank you so much for reaching out, it can be hard/awkward sometimes, so it’s very appreciated! I can definitely see what you mean though, school can be super stressful sometimes, and it’s totally normal to feel like you’re just not getting it or falling behind. I feel similarly for sure, and I can definitely see why it might be a little nerve racking to ask for help from friends. Sometimes, when I feel like I’m falling behind or I’m not at the pace the rest of my friends are, I try to collect myself and see how I learn best. I really like to take notes, but sometimes I may not feel like I have enough time in class, so I spend a little time every day focusing on whatever I might be struggling with. It tends to really help me, but if that doesn’t sound appealing to you, that’s totally fine too! Everyone has things that work better for them! (Pro tip from a good teacher of mine, - don't try to cram work in all at once! Learning/studying a little bit every day for maybe a week or so helps a lot more than a four hour study session in one day!) Another thing that might help is asking someone you might feel more comfortable with about material that you’re struggling with. For me, sometimes I struggle with math and feel like I’m not going at the pace I should be, so something I tend to do a lot is ask my parents if they can help me with whatever I may not be getting. Similarly, that might not sound too great, but another alternative that might sound more enticing could be walk-through videos online (or on youtube)!! Anyways, I hope this finds you well! More than anything, I hope you know you’re more than capable and beyond smart! :) -Marley from alex
Hi, thank you for reaching out! I am really sorry to hear that you're going through that. Those periods in school can be extremely tough, but don't feel like you're alone, because I promise you, there are a ton of other students experiencing the same thing! I would encourage you to try asking your teacher if you would be able to have a 1-on-1 chat with them to let them know what you're not understanding, and ask for some help. I would also maybe ask your counselor to try and set that up if possible. For me, when I get into these positions, I dedicate 1 day a week to working on missing/close to due assignments, so maybe try something similar. I really hope everything starts improving! -Eric 7/02/2024 Advice for a mom?
I am a mom and want to know what teens think about my situation with my daughter. Delete my question if you only talk to teens. My daughter is 15. She is a really good kid and I am proud of her. But this fall she wants to go to school online through an alternative school. I want her to go the regular public school. I want her to at least try it and see if she likes it. I know she wants friends and I don’t think she will make friends if she is always home and online. She gets lonely and sad a lot and I want her to be having fun at her age. I am curious about what other kids think.
From May
Hi! I'm May. Thank you so much for reaching out. I personally think it's really cool of you as a mom to seek advice from youth. I do think you're right that it's worth a try, but ultimately if she feels like it would be best for her to do online school, she knows herself more than anyone. I understand you're also worried about her making friends. The social aspect of school is very important, but it's also good to take into consideration that there are other ways to make friends that aren't during school. One example of this is the library (https://www.fvrl.org/), which has events all the time. They even have events that are geared specifically towards youth. Another example is the Boys and Girls club (https://mybgc.org/). There are also plenty of volunteer opportunities you could encourage her to participate in to meet people (including TeenTalk!). I love that you reached out to us, and it sounds like you care a lot about your daughter! Don't hesitate to reach out again if you want to talk further. From Emma
As a teen myself I feel like she is scared of interacting with people her age. I been through this once and I feel you should talk to her first. Talk about why and what is happening thay stoping her from going to a regular school. If she is scared of interacting, give her sometimes to do baby step of talking to other. You can ask her to call teen-talk as a way to help her talk to people around her age. Slowly talk about what she would be benefiting from going to a regular school. There are some school that have a student shadowing a current student at that school, helping to see how the school and classes are like. This is also an opportunity to help her get out there. The key here is not to rush her, she may be overwhelmed. Constantly talk to her about what she likes and what she don’t like. I hope this help and thank you for reaching out to us! -Emma- from hailey
Hey it’s so cool a mom will reach out! I appreciate you coming to ask teen talk, just the fact that you care enough about your daughter to ask teenagers and not just other moms shows you are a great mother! Anyway there are a few things to consider when it comes to picking a school for your teenager I know for one I had no say in the school I go to in fact I hated that I was being forced to go to my school but it turned out to be a place I grew to love because it challenged me just as much I needed to and I thrived, so when you are trying to decide which school to have your daughter go to try to consider which school you think she would do the best at. I’m not sure if that was much help but that’s the best advice I can provide. Good luck picking which school and I hope your daughter enjoys the school she’ll be going to! - Hailey:) from anna
Thank you for contacting TeenTalk! I know that I personally, and probably many teens out there, appreciate that you are trying to gather perspectives from teens to help your daughter! I was wondering if your daughter been to public school before and how was her experience? If she has not gone to public school before, I would suggest for her to try it out and to give it a bit of time so that she can become familiar with her surroundings and have time to make friends. Also, if she is transitioning from middle school to high school, I have found that those experiences are somewhat different because in high school, students are much more able to explore their interests through joining things like clubs and finding people who share their interests. There are many classes relating to her interests that she can take and meet students in those classes. During this time, maybe you could try to check in with her periodically to see how she is doing? Taking her to talk to her school's counselor could also help, and they might be able to give you some information about the school to help prepare her. I know there are many clubs and activities that she would have access to at a public school, and the counselor could give her some starting points to help her. Adjusting to public school can definitely be daunting and there are the highs and the lows, but I cherish very much the friends I've been able to make in school and the social interactions with my peers that I've been able to have. Making friends could be more difficult if she stayed at home, but it is still possible. If after some time your daughter still wishes to go to school online, at least she has tried to go to public school which is a big step. Also, if after a while she wants to return to in person school, she will have some experience to go off of! I hope that you talk to your daughter more about why she prefers online school, and if she has any questions, please don't hesitate to have her contact TeenTalk as well :) from stella
Hey there, It sounds like you care a lot about your daughter's happiness and well-being, which is really admirable. It's great to hear that you're proud of her and want what's best for her. Making decisions about school can be tough, especially when you want the best for someone you care about. As a fellow teen, I can understand both sides of this situation. Online school through an alternative program can offer flexibility and sometimes a more personalized learning experience, which can be great for some students. On the other hand, traditional public school can provide opportunities for social interaction and a broader range of extracurricular activities. Ultimately, every teen is different, and what works best for one person might not work for another. It might be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with your daughter about her preferences and concerns. Understanding her perspective can make it easier to come to a decision together. If you're looking for more perspectives from teens, you might consider checking out online forums or community groups where teens share their experiences with different schooling options. Websites like Reddit or specific forums for parents and teens can be really informative. Remember, you're doing a great job as a mom by seeking out different viewpoints and wanting the best for your daughter. Whatever decision you both make, as long as it's made with love and understanding, will likely be the right one. Have an amazing day <3 from jen
Thank you for reaching out to us and I think it’s really cool that you’re asking kids what their opinions would be on this. It shows how much you care for your daughter and want to understand all the sides and support her in the best way possible. I did online school during the pandemic but the following year I attended school in person for a few weeks but switched to online when my anxiety was getting really bad. I was in a really bad place so my situation may be different than your daughters. I think for me it wasn’t helpful, however every online school is different and the program mine was through was not great for my personal learning style. I think it was necessary for me to do online because I was having panic attacks every day at school and hiding in the bathroom or trying to stay home and legally I needed to be attending school so online made that possible. I was diagnosed with social phobia…so I truly wanted to isolate myself. In a way though it did help me to get in a stable place and then the next semester I returned to school in person and did really well. I did better in person because I struggled with motivation at home and reading comprehension which made it difficult to understand assignments. There are certainly pros and cons to both so depending on her needs I think it would really be good to sit down together and make a list of both options. Also make separate lists and compare so both people get all their ideas heard. I have friends who did online and really liked it. They still had a social life and lots of supportive friends. But I didn’t have that same experience since online school was a way for me to disassociate from my life and isolate myself. I think both can be positive or negative experiences for different kinds of people. I think it’s important to do research on the program your daughter wants to enroll in because not all online schools offer the same classes, some are videos and quizzes, others are purely book work, some have teachers you can email with questions while others do not, etc. Also not every online program uses the same teaching style and it would be good to choose one best suited for your daughter if you end up pursuing online education. I wish you the best and you can always try doing one semester if the school she would be attending or online program allow it. You know your daughter much better than me so I can’t say what would be better for her but I hope this could help. Thank you for reaching out and writing us a message :) from eric
Hey, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like a really tough position. Personally, I completely agree with you in that, your daughter should go to regular school and get the real school experience. Going to public school is always really difficult sometimes, especially the first week when you don't know anybody. Those challenges build and crate not only a lot of character, but also a lot of strength and other skills she'll need in life. Personal interaction is really important, whether it be one new person she meets or a whole bunch, either way is a huge achievement. I guarantee she will fight you with everything she has to not go to a real school, but in the end she'll thank you for doing it. -Eric 05/16/2023 - I have a lack of confidence in defending myselF
I guess you can say I get bullied at school. I got beat up in early March this year and every other day kids say mean things to me. But whenever they do, I freeze. I don't know what to do I usually just act like I don't notice or walk away but I wish I could stand up for myself so they won't do it again.
FROM AMELIA
I'm sorry you're getting bullied at school, that can make things really difficult and stressful. I understand how it can be hard to stand up for yourself in the moment when faced with conflict. Just walking away is a good way to handle the situation but I can see how that can be frustrating when you want to stop it from happening again. I'm sure you've already thought about changing your routes in-between classes so you can avoid these people but maybe you could take a friend along with you. Having a friend there might give you more confidence to stand up for yourself and they can also be there to make sure nothing bad happens. Thanks for reaching out and I hope things get better for you soon - Amelia FROM DAVID
That sounds absolutely terrible. Standing up for yourself is definitely the hardest thing in school and I don't blame you for also thinking it's scary. It's hard for kids, teens, adults, and everyone in between. You can try ignoring them but I know that doesn't work most of the time. Fighting back probably isn't the answer since that just invigorates the bullies but maybe trying to find ways to avoid them completely by using different parts of the school or walking with people you know so that the bullies are less inclined to harass you. Beating you up is a very serious offense and they should get consequences for it if you talk to an adult at your school. I really think that you are very brave and should not let these bullies get to you. FROM BRI
I really wish that people didn't bully others. I think that sometimes that there is a lot of power in waking away, and can sometimes be really powerful. Especially because a lot of people who say mean things are just feeling hurt and taking it out on other people. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself, I feel like that is a lot of people's reaction. You don't deserve to be bullied at all. You deserve to be safe. From Leslie
im so sorry to hear this :( bullying absolutely sucks and no one deserves to be treated like that. i don't blame you for freezing because it sounds like a very scary situation. i think reaching out to teachers, your parents, or any other trusted adults could help a lot and they would probably be able to fix the problem. i'm glad you want to defend yourself but i would also be cautious, since they've gotten violent before. your safety is the number one priority and i wouldn't want you to do anything that could put that in jeopardy. just remember that what those kids say isn't true and you don't need to pay them any mind, don't forget that you're an amazing human being and bad people shouldn't dim your light. i hope that everything ends up working out well :) FROM MIA
Hey! Thank you for writing to us! I'm sorry to hear that you're getting bullied that must be so hard to go through. Have you considered reporting that behavior? I know it's scary but the adults at school might be able to get a no-contact order against them so you won't have deal with their bullying. Again, I'm so sorry that you are going through that. I cannot image how difficult that must be. Thank you for reaching out and if you ever want to talk, we're here for you! 04/30/2023 - I don't feel safe at school
I used to have a best friend who I thought was my best friend. I had a boyfriend that harassed me sexually so I broke up with him because of it. My "best friend" said she was there for me and convinced me to leave him cuz what he did was disgusting, and it was. But immediately after I left him she blocked me on everything and asked him out. This was during the summer so once school started again she started spreading rumors about me and trying to get other people to hate me as much as she hated me. Eventually she made my friends turn on me and convinced one of them to beat me up in early March this year. I was so scared, so many people were recording. When she threw me down and was beating me I didn't even feel it, it was peaceful. But once she was done and walked away, I immediately started crying. Ever since then I've felt scared to be at school and to be around big crowds, I feel like everyone hates me and wants to jump me. I'm intimidated by everyone. I don't want anyone to look at me or talk to me or anything. They haven't touched me but they still spread rumors and it got so bad I got put on meds for anxiety and I get to leave class early before the bell rings so I don't have to walk with the crowd. I just wish I could feel normal at school but I don't. It's so much stress on me I can't take it anymore I get hives on my face from the anxiety. I just want to be happy and loved.
FROM DAVID
Hi I'm David and I really appreciate your bravery in reaching out. I'm really sorry this is happening to you. People shouldn't turn on you like that or beat you up in the hallways. Despite these selective people I do hope you know that you are loved by many even if you don't know it. Have you tried talking to a counselor or administrator at your school? If they didn't or won't do anything then talk to your parents as well. If you've already talked to them and they also won't do anything then you could reach out to a trusted teacher you like at your school. Also getting beaten in the hallway is assault and you could report that to the police who could take further action. If there's a recording of it online somewhere then that's just further proof and if this many people saw it happen then that's a lot of witnesses. It takes a lot of bravery and resilience to keep going after all of that harassment and I'm really happy that you are still going and things will get better. In the meanwhile though I hope you stay and strong and know that a lot of people support you, including me. FROM MIA
Thank you for opening up about this. It sounds incredibly difficult to be dealing with all of that. It definitely sounds like she wasn't a good friend at all and what she did to you was horrible. It must have been very traumatic for you. No one should ever have to go through something like that. It was a good choice to leave your boyfriend after what he had put you through. Have you thought about reporting their behavior to someone like a school counselor or police? They could help with making you feel safer at school by getting no-contact/restraining order on them. It is scary, but sometimes it can be really helpful. I understand wanting to feel happy and loved. If you're still struggling with what your boyfriend did, the YWCA may be a good resource. They have a call line and support groups. If you ever want to reach out to us, we would love to hear from you! FROM R
I can't even begin to imagine how horrible and traumatizing that must have been. You are loved, and you are important! You should not have had to deal with such horrible things and it must be so hard dealing with all of the aftereffects now. We are always here to listen and it is so understandable that you want to feel normal in school. You are strong! I can hear your strength in what you've gone through and healing takes time and you have the ability to heal no matter how impossible it may seem right now. from bri
Hey, Thank you for reaching out, I just want to say you are so SO valid in absolutely everything that has happened. It must be really hard to have people who you trusted become untrustworthy and feel unsafe. While it sounds like your "best friend" convinced you to dump this guy for the wrong reasons, I am still really glad they were able to give you the push that you needed in order to get away from a bad situation. I can understand the anxiety of feeling so exposed at school and not feeling safe and maybe like you always have to have your defenses up. I might not have had the same thing happen, but when people are making you feel unsafe it is really hard to not carry that everywhere. You absolutely deserve to be happy and loved. I am glad that your school was able to help you a bit Have you been able to talk to anyone at school about how you are feeling? I feel like sometimes people like teachers have a really good perspective on things because they are there with you a lot. That sounds like so much stress they have put you through and I really hope that they can see that putting you down won't make them feel better. FROM TESSA
Hi there. Wow, it sounds like you have been going through a lot. I can't even imagine what that's like, and I am so incredibly sorry you're dealing with this. I really think you should report this to a teacher or faculty member at your school. If people were recording, try to get the video so you can use it as evidence. It is NEVER okay for anyone to put their hands on you like that, and you deserve justice. It can be really scary to come forward with a story like this, especially with the pressures of the rumors at school. Just know that what they did to you is NOT okay, and no one deserves violence. I really recommend talking to your school counselor and coming up with a plan to how they can make you feel more safe at school. You deserve to feel comfortable and safe in a learning environment. |
