7/24/2026-Im so confused....
So basically, there's this guy... we used to be pretty close friends and then he went to a "high cap school" for the last year of elementary school and we lost touch. Later in middle school, he's there but never had any classes together so never much talked at all. Then my friend is like, I like -------, but hes dating someone elxe. And I instantly am like NO! (In my head, I don't say anything) I suddenly have feelings for him, just like that. They are NOT going away. So then I reach out via email asking if we're still friends and eventually he gives me his number. We text a bit. Then, I finally get the courage to text him, I think I like you. Yes I know you have a GF but I just thought you should know. Then he says back, I kinda feel the same way, I've liked you for a long time. IM THEN SOOOO HAPPY, but... We texted back and forth for a while. Then I got up the courage to ask, So you like 2 people at once? Then he was like well, umm I like my gf and we are friends and you can like some friends more than others. I got soooo sad then. What should I do next? Also my friend does not know I like him. Also, this isn't a small crush whatsoever!
from heather
Hello, I'm Heather! I'm so glad you reached out, it makes sense that this situation would be really confusing for you. It's understandable that you immediately caught feelings for this guy, since you had such a strong friendship in elementary school. I've also had a really good friend in elementary school I lost contact with, so I personally understand how easily strong feelings can build from nostalgic friendships. It's great that you were able to get back in contact with him, but it seems like this situation has caused an emotional rollercoaster for you. You deserve a partner that loves you and only you, and it's not fair for you, or his girlfriend, to be sharing his attention. You mentioned that he said you're friends and that you can like some friends more than others. It's valid that this made you feel sad, since he said he liked you and is now backtracking to calling you a friend. It seems like he wants to have both you and his girlfriend, which can just cause a lot of stress for everyone involved. You may also want to consider how this situation can affect your relationship with your friend. I'm not sure if you're worried about telling your friend you like him but it can be helpful to write down the pros and cons of telling your friend that you like him. This is your decision, and I know it can be stressful, but take your time to think about it and go with the decision that feels right for you. I'm here Wednesdays 5-8 if you need to talk or need support, you don't have to go through this alone. :) from lina
Hi thanks for reaching out, this is very complicated! however, I believe that if a man has a girlfriend, you probably should not go after him. even if he likes you. there is always a chance that he will want another girl. Maybe you guys can stay friends. maybe you can find another person who will love you more than anyone, while not loving someone more than u that way. i'm sorry if you believe this is your true love, this isnt. True love shouldn't happen where the guy likes many people and you only like him. i'm sure there are many people who would fall head over heals for a person who is able to love someone even if they love multiple people. i want you happy, and safe! this is up to you, but this is my take! -Lina from blair
Hi!! Hope you’re doing well. That’s quite the rollercoaster of emotions, I get why you’d feel confused. I can also tell that you like this guy a lot, which is super sweet. If I were in this situation though, I’d avoid him. I don’t know what kind of person he is or anything, this is only based on what information you’ve stated. But the way he’s behaving sounds kinda sketchy. Why would you say that you like another girl while in a relationship? That’s not fair to the girlfriend firstly, but also it’s not fair to you. Nobody wants to feel lead on or like they’re being left in the dark. It sounds to me like he can’t make up his mind on what he wants and he’s not prepared to be someone who will treat you right. If he’s talking to other girls while he’s got a girlfriend, there’s nothing to indicate that if you started dating him, he’d do anything different. People will always tell you who they are, you just have to listen to them. It sounds really harsh but Id stop talking to him completely to spare yourself from the drama and confusion. There’s better people out there I promise. Whatever you decide to do, I hope the outcome is positive and that things go well for you moving forward. Text or call me if you wanna discuss this, I’m here tuesdays. Lots of love! Blair from Chloe
Hi there Thanks for reaching out I'm really sorry you're going through this. I can tell this isn't just a little crush—it sounds like you genuinely care about him, and that makes this situation so much harder. From what you shared, it seems like he was honest in saying that he had feelings for you at some point, but he also made it clear that he cares about his girlfriend. I know it's tempting to keep wondering what he really meant or whether he secretly likes you more, but trying to figure out every little message will probably just leave you feeling more confused and hurt. Right now, the clearest thing you know is that he has a girlfriend, and that's the reality you have to go by. I also want to say this don't let yourself become someone who's waiting around hoping he'll change his mind. You need someone who is free to choose you without hesitation. If, someday, he's single and still has feelings for you, then that's a completely different situation. But until then, I think the healthiest thing you can do is keep things friendly, give him space, and focus on yourself instead of waiting for something that may never happen. But the friend situation you don't have to tell her everything if you're not comfortable. However, if she starts talking about him a lot or her feelings become more serious, it might be worth having an honest conversation. Good friendships are built on trust, and being honest when the time is right can help avoid misunderstandings later. This is not the answer you were hoping for but Having feelings for someone who's unavailable can be incredibly painful, especially when they admit they liked you too. But sometimes caring about someone also means respecting the situation they're in, even when it's hard. Most importantly, remember this: you deserve someone who can openly choose you, be excited to be with you, and never leave you wondering where you stand. Don't settle for mixed signals when you deserve clear ones. from wesley
Hi! My name is Wesley, thank you so much for reaching out! First of all, I just want to say that I really admire that you told him how you feel even though you know he has a girlfriend. It's really important to be able to be open with your friends, even if you know it might be an awkward or uncomfortable situation. His response is what concerns me, though. I think that if you're in a relationship, you shouldn't have feelings for another person. I know this hurts to hear, and I'm really sorry, but he's not the right person for you. If you were to be in a relationship with him, what's stopping him from catching feelings for another person? It's hard now, but if you let it keep going, it's only gonna get harder and harder. I think it's really important to set boundaries, and I know that might not be what you want to hear, but it'll get easier over time. I went through a pretty similar situation a while ago, and I was definitely thinking a lot of the same things as you are, but after I realized that it wasn't going to work out, it started to get better. I'm really sorry if this wasn't what you wanted to hear, but I hope it still helps. If you ever want to chat some more, I'm here every Wednesday from 5 to 8 PM. Thanks again for reaching out! from claire
Hi! Thank you so much for reaching out! That is incredibly brave of you! I am very glad you reached out and I am happy to talk to you. What you are going through sounds difficult, and I love that you decided to reach out to me. To answer your question, there are several things you can do. I think that it is important to understand that he is not trying to hurt you because he clearly cares about you. I appreciate that you got up the courage to tell him how you feel. That is very important. While I don't know how things will turn out, I can tell you that if you tell him how you feel that will make him be able to understand you better. I would also recommend looking at it from both sides. What you are going through is a hundred percent valid. But I think that it is also important to understand that he might not even know what he is feeling at the moment. Good luck with everything! I would love to hear how you are doing again. My next shift is Monday from 4-7. Claire 7/24/2026-Why can't he just want me
I really like this guy, its just he has a female best friend and they are always together. He will always text her when I'm around or send me snaps of them hanging out. He always tells me about how nice she is. Whenever I try to hang out with him he just says "too busy" but then he'll be making plans every week to hang out with her. I wish he wanted me. I asked him if he likes her and he said "shes like a brother to me" but they've known each other for years and are going to the same school. how can you not like her? shes so pretty and perfect, so smart. If I was a man id want her.
I wish he wanted me, I wish he would treat me like he treats her... I wish we were together. from Hazel
Hey, this is Hazel! Thank you for reaching out. I'm really sorry you're dealing with this; these kinds of situations can hurt a lot, especially when you care so much about someone isn't really showing up for you in the same way. It makes sense that this is weighing on you. I can understand why you'd start comparing yourself to her, especially with how much he talks about her and spends time with her. But I want to be really clear with you about something: this is not a reflection of your worth!! The way he shows up, who he chooses to spend time with, and the kind of connection he may have with someone else does not take anything away from you or make you any less deserving of genuine care and love. Based on what you've told me, I think his actions give you a clearer answer than his words. Saying that he's too busy but then always making time for her would be confusing and hurtful for anyone. And even if he truly does see her as a friend, it still doesn't chance how this situation is affecting you. You deserve to be with someone who will consistently and genuinely show up for you, and you should feel chosen and not constantly unsure about where you stand. Wanting that is not at all too much to ask for. I know it's not easy to step back from someone when you have feelings for them, but it's important to protect your heart. You shouldn't have to keep wishing for someone to treat you as you should be treated if they've shown that they won't. What I hope you can know is that nothing about you becomes less just because of how someone else behaves. You are still just as worthy of care, attention, and love as anyone else, and I know you'll find someone who will honor that! Please always feel free to call or text in if you'd like to talk more about this; we're always happy to listen. Take care of yourself girl; I'm wishing you the best!- Hazel from Lina
hi im Lina, im a teen with teentalk. I'm sorry your feeling that way, its completely valid though. I understand how it feels to want someone who may want someone else. you are so strong for seeing this pattern and asking these questions. i dont know what your relationship looks like, however, if you trust him maybe you ask him out. However, if you don't trust him, be cautious, i dont wanna tell you to hide your feelings, however, I want you to know that maybe telling him would hurt your relationship. I hope it all goes good, i mean maybe ask the girl and see if he may like her or she likes him. I want you safe and happy. from Christi
Hey thank you for reaching out! it's hard to ask for help and advice sometimes so kudos to asking. Sounds like the guy you were talking about does have a girl best friend. It can be hard to compete or compare yourself to them. It sounds like to me that he's trying to dodge the question and avoid the conversation, I think considering that he doesn't pay much attention to you or doesn't make an effort to hangout, he might not like you in a romantic way. However, you deserve somebody that pays you lots of attention, loves to hang out with you and make an effort, not somebody that tries to get out of things. I think what I would do at least was just ask him flat. Either he does and that's great, or he doesn't and the only thing you would lose would be the conversation of trying to hang out with him. Maybe he does like you and does'nt know how to express himself, so he gets nervous and avoids it. That is also a possibility. So, what I would do is just ask him if he likes you. I'm wishing you the best in your journey, feel free to write back! - Christi from chloe
Honestly i get how that can be hard. I have a guy best friend that i've been friends with for almost 13 years.. i will say that most best friends that are freinds for awhile dont really get feelings for each other like that. honestly i get being upset about him saying im busy and then hanging out with her but with freinds like that sometimes they say they are busy to other people just in case they want to hang out. honestly if they have been freinds for ever it can totally be a sibling bond. mabye he is the type of person you need to be direct with. and mabye that start with you teling him how you feel. xoxo Chloe<3 from Marley
Hey! Thank you for reaching out; it can be nerve-wracking sometimes, so just know you’re far braver than you can imagine!!! It definitely sounds like you’re in a tough situation, crushes can be difficult, and it always feels like a battle against your own feelings when you like someone who might now share the same feelings. I can’t tell you what he may be feeling or if he truly does care for this other girl in a more romantic way, and I wish I could—but if I can tell you anything, it’s that you are incredibly deserving of someone who cares about you enough to drop everything to be with you or to make time for you and show you just how amazing you are. You sound like an incredibly sweet and intelligent person, and with how much care and emotion and empathy you bring to your relationship with this boy, you deserve someone who cares about you in that same way and that gives you that same validation. I hope you know how amazing, smart, and beautiful you are and that no matter how amazing this other girl might be, you’re beautiful in your own way and will find the love you deserve. Your friends are always here at TeenTalk if you need to talk or even just a simple reminder of how fabulous you are! :) Marley 4/24/2026-Does she like me???
I have little to no friends at my school. I’m kind of an outcast in a very tight knit class, everybody’s friends with each other and nobody really talks to me. It doesn’t help that I have severe social anxiety so “putting myself out there” is extremely hard for me, even with my weekly therapy and exposures. But a few weeks ago, a girl I’ve only talked to in passing came up and asked if we could exchange numbers. I was surprised, and it turns out we have lots in common. Although I think I’m starting to catch feelings for her, and I don’t know if she is too. Unfortunately, I don’t have any classes with her so we only talk through text, so I really can’t tell if she’s being flirty with me or just being nice. I’m also nonbinary, assigned female, so I don’t even know if she likes non men or if she’s straight. It’s really confusing for me, especially since I’m neurodivergent and have a hard time reading social cues anyway. Help figuring this out would be much appreciated.
from morgan
Hi, thanks for writing in! This sounds like a really tough situation, especially since you said you have a hard time reading social cues. It's really hard for anyone to read tone through text, so what I would do is try to see if you guys can hang out in person. It might be easier to understand if she's flirting if you can actually hear her tone of voice or see her body language. Unfortunately it's really hard to figure out when someone's flirting over just being nice, even for neurotypical people. Everyone has a different personality and everyone flirts different, so there's not really a concrete list of things to look out for. If you want to figure out if she likes non-men or not, you could maybe bring up a topic related to being lgbtq and see how she responds. You could also ask her outright if you feel comfortable doing that? If you have that info it might help put everything into context. Regardless of where this ends up going, it sounds like you've made a good friend and I'm proud of you for that! I hope this goes well for you, if you ever want to reach out again my shift is Tuesdays from 5-8pm. - Morgan from dylan
Hello, Thank you for reaching out! You're very brave for sharing this. It can definitely be tough when you have feelings for someone and you're not sure if they have feelings for you as well. I think it's also great that you've been able to make a friend, and I can definitely understand how there is more pressure on you in this situation because of the fact that it may be difficult to make friends in a tight-knit class. This sounds like a difficult situation to be in, and reading social cues over text can be really hard. In terms of ideas that I have for helping to figure this out, I think I have some options. If you really like this person and want to try to have a relationship with them, then I think that just a sort of friendly text asking if they're interested is probably fine. If you really don't want to risk the relationship and are really scared of asking, you could also potentially ask one of her friends if she's interested in anyone. I hope that this helps, and please reach back out if you would like to talk again. My shift is from 4-7 PM on Wednesdays and I'd love to talk! Sincerely, -Dylan from Payton
Hello! Thank you so much for reaching out and being willing to share about your experiences! Im sorry you are dealing with so many mixed signals and feelings but it’s awesome that you are reaching out and asking for help! I don’t know if this would help but my advice is to maybe explain to this person how you’re feeling. I know it could probably feel uncomfortable or scary so if it’s not something you want to do, I totally understand. But maybe just expressing how you feel and your experiences would help you get clearer signals? I don’t know if this would work but maybe you could also just keep texting and seeing how your feelings change or grow and then making a decision about communicating. But it’s totally up to you, if you want to take a chance and see how she feels, you definitely should! I wish you the best of luck and I hope everything can be figured out and become less confusing for you! Payton from quinn
Hello! I'm Quinn, thank you for reaching out! I get how it feels to be in class where it seems like everybody is friends, that's a hard situation, and it can feel very lonely. Making friendships and connections are hard, and it can be overwhelming and nerve racking. if it helps, they might not be avoiding you intentionally avoiding you, they might just not know you, and it might be scary for them too. Unfortunately, there is almost always an aspect of vulnerability and having to put yourself out there to make friends, and that's scary! But you might just have to do it scared, and I'm speaking from experience. It doesn't always work out, but all you can do is try on your end, you can't control other people's actions. I'm glad that you have made a connection with someone though! Incidentally I am an autistic nonbinary person, who has been texting a cis girl. Twins! It's really exciting, but also confusing and scary. Because I'm kind of in the same position as you, I don't think I will give you expert advice on how to win her over or whatever, but similar to making friends the only way to find out is to put yourself out there. Being nonbinary is a very unique experience and the traditional advice doesn't always work or apply, it can feel like nobody is like you or has the same experiences. But you're not alone! I'm dealing with those same things, and many other nonbinary people are too. If you want to talk more, I'm at Teentalk on Mondays from 4pm-7pm. and Teentalk is open Monday-Thursday 4pm-9pm, and Fridays 4pm-7pm. The number to text is 360-984-0936, and the number to call is 360-397-2428. Thank you! I hope you are able to figure this out! Quinn from kit
Hi! Thank you for reaching out and telling me about what's going on in your life. It sounds like this person does like you. I'm not sure if they like you romantically but it seems they enjoy talking to you and even put themselves out there by asking for your number. I also struggle to read social cues so I can relate to not knowing when people are flirting vs just being friendly. Maybe you could test the waters a bit. Make the first move and flirt a little bit, respectfully of course. You could also just continue to be friends and see where things go. When I struggle to know if someone likes me I typically just ask them which can be a little forward for some people so I understand if you don't want to do that. I'm totally rooting for you though! You sound amazing and like someone I would totally want to hang out with too. You've got this and I believe in you! -Kit from May
Hi! I'm May. Thank you so much for reaching out. I totally understand this, I have a hard time interpreting social situations sometimes myself. These kinds of situations can be particularly difficult, especially when you don't have a ton of experience with them. First of all, I think it's completely okay to feel the situation out and let it continue as it is for a while to get comfortable. If you are interested in a deeper relationship with her, a great way to start that is with a friendship. In my opinion, relationships work out best when they start in a friendship because you can get to know each other more and become comfortable with each other. If your comfortable with it I think it would also be great to hangout in person sometime! Like you said, it's even harder to tell if someone likes you or not when you only talk over text. You could just ask her to study together or something super casual like that. This sounds like a complicated situation and I'm really glad you reached out. If you want to talk more about this you can always reach out again here, text, or call! -May :)
from Carson
His this is Carson! Thank you so much for reaching out. I, being a bisexual guy, can definitely relate to the uncertainty of if someone is just being nice or being flirty. One of the things I have found has worked the best is asking the person about it. I know it’s scary but it helps to know what is going on and trust me it helps a lot. I definitely get it if you do not want to tell them how you feel but I think if you ask it would be super helpful. You can also choose to just ask if they are flirting or tell them how you feel for them, whatever you feel is safest. Good luck! (Im on Friday shift from 5-7 pm usually if you wanna chat more abt it)
from Flora
Hello it's Flora! Thank you for sharing and I can understand where you are coming from! If you have the courage to, you could ask her what's her sexual orientation? Another way to ask her is what's her type? I'm glad that you and her are talking and being friendly. It's alright, I know it can be scary, and feelings happen! So, just be yourself and don't be afraid to ask her! If anything becomes akward if you do ask, then maybe try to switch over the conversation into something you both have in common. I hope this helped you and if you need anyone I am here for you! We are open anytime from Monday- Friday! 3/26/2026- Not like before
I don’t really know how to explain it, but something feels off between me and them lately, and it’s been bothering me more than I expected. We used to talk all the time, like it was easy and normal, and now everything feels kind of distant and awkward. I keep wondering if I did something wrong or said something that changed things, but I can’t figure out what it would be. It’s frustrating because I don’t even know if it’s real or if I’m just overthinking it, but either way it still hurts. I miss how things used to be, and I hate not knowing where I stand with them. I don’t want to bring it up and make it a big deal if it’s nothing, but at the same time pretending everything’s fine feels kind of fake.
from chloe
Hey there thanks for reaching out, I get what you mean, that kind of shift can feel really confusing. When something that used to feel easy suddenly feels off, it’s hard not to question yourself, even if you don’t actually know that anything went wrong. It makes sense that you’d miss how things used to be and feel stuck not knowing where you stand. Honestly, you’re not wrong for feeling this way, and you’re probably not just making it up either,sometimes dynamics really do change, even if no one says it out loud. If it keeps bothering you, it might be worth bringing up, just to clear the air a little. Something simple, like saying you feel like things have been a bit different lately, without accusing them of anything. However, try not to automatically assume you did something wrong. Relationships shift for all kinds of reasons, and it isn’t always about one specific thing. But you also don’t have to pretend everything’s fine if it doesn’t feel that way—that just makes it harder on you. Xoxo, Chloe <3 from Blair
Hi! Thank you so much for sharing this with us :) I've been in your situation a few times, in relationships and in friendships and I get how hard it is. I struggled for a long time with my social skills and didn't really know how to communicate in times like that. It really sucks, especially when the person means a lot to you and you just want things back to the way they were. In my situations, it usually wasn't something I did, but you won't know until you ask. I recommend finding a good time to talk to them when it's just you guys (in person preferably) and just casually being like "Hey, I just was wondering if we're okay? (and at some point in this I lightly will kind of joke about it being random or awkward to bring up, because honestly you just have to address the awkwardness and it'll lighten the tone, make the other person feel a bit more comfortable) "I've just been feeling like things have been different between us and I wanted to make sure I didn't do anything to upset you." I would also make sure to mention at some point in your conversation that you're just asking because you value your friendship or relationship and you care about them a lot. I hope everything goes well with you and that anything I said was helpful. Good luck and feel free to text/call in whenever. My shift is on Tuesdays if you need more advice on this. from hazel
Hey, my name's Hazel; thank you for reaching out! It sounds like you're in a tough situation. It always sucks feeling that something is wrong or kinda off, but not knowing exactly what it is, and wondering if it's something you did, or something about their feelings that changed, etc. You're certainly not the only one who's experienced this; I was also in a very similar situation last year with someone close to me. The strongest piece of advice I can give you is to communicate with them clearly about this. I know it's a lot easier said than done, but talking to them and getting their perspective and feelings on what's been happening is the fastest and easiest way to get a grasp on the situation. The biggest advantage to talking to them is that you would get information. Right now, all you know is that the vibe is off and that things feel weird. That's a completely valid thing to notice and feel; you should absolutely trust your gut if you think something's up. But currently, you don't really know for sure what the cause is or how the other person is really feeling. That lack of information can create a lot of uncertainty and fear. The situation might not be as bad as you think, but because you can't quite tell what the other person's thinking, it's easy to worry and stress about it a lot, which feels pretty awful. If you're able to talk with them about what you've noticed and how you've been feeling, you might find that it's not you, and that there's some entirely different reason they've been acting strange. You might find that there's been some kind of misunderstanding. Maybe they feel just as confused as you do. Or, worst case scenario, you find out that they are acting differently because of you. If that's the case, at least you'll know what happened, and can evaluate the situation properly. I know it's really hard to have a relationship start to feel like it's falling apart. It sounds like you're close to this person and care about preserving your relationship with them. I can tell that you're very thoughtful and are truly considerate of them. I know it feels very uncomfortable to bring something like this up with someone; it might feel like you're just creating problems from nothing or making things worse, but open and honest communication is really the key to understanding and resolving situations like this. I wish you all the best in dealing with this; I hope that things can be resolved between the two of you. But regardless of the end result I hope you know that you're a wonderful person, and I'm rooting for you! Best, Hazel :3 from wesley
Hey, this is Wesley! I’m really sorry to hear that you’re going through this. I know how hard it can be to grow apart from someone that you used to be really close to, and I definitely know how it feels to wonder if it was because of something that you said or did. I know you said that you don’t really want to bring it up with them, but I think that could really help you to make sure both of you are on the same page. It doesn’t need to be a big deal - maybe you could just say something to them like “Hey, I feel like we’ve been a little more distant recently, are you doing okay?” Sure, it might be a little awkward in the moment, but I think it would help a lot to get rid of some of the worry that you’re feeling right now. It’s really important to be able to have healthy conversations in a relationship, even if it’s uncomfortable sometimes. If it’s really not something that you want to bring up with them, maybe there’s an adult or a friend in your life that you’d be more comfortable going to? You could brainstorm some ideas on how you might approach it once you’re feeling up to it. I’m so glad you decided to reach out to us, and I really hope you reach out again sometime. My shift is on Wednesdays from 5 - 8 if you ever want to talk! Wesley from may
Hi! My name is May. I'm so glad you reached out to us. First of all, I totally understand where you're coming from. I've been in situations similar to this before and I think this is a very common experience. Ultimately, I think you should definitely talk to your partner about this. I know if my partner were feeling this way about me I would want them to talk to me about it. I also think in any healthy relationship, you should be able to bring things up that bother you, and your partner should listen and try their best to clear things up. Also, even if you are overthinking things, your feelings are valid. If you feel like something is off, you should work with your partner on improving how you feel about your relationship. Thank you again for reaching out. I hope you can contact us again if you need to talk more! -May from dylan
Hi, this is Dylan with Teen Talk. You're very brave to share what you're going through right now. This sounds like a tough situation to be in, and I can only imagine how confusing this must be for you. Sometimes relationships can go through phases where you feel a little more distant from your significant other, especially if school, family, or extracurriculars get in the way. It's totally normal to feel hurt and confused when you feel like they're being distant. In this situation, it may be helpful to talk to your significant other about how you're feeling. This could help you to understand why they're being distant or if you really are just overthinking it (which is also totally normal!!). Talking could also help you figure out where you guys stand. If you really don't want to talk to this with your significant other, it might be helpful to talk to a trusted adult or friend about this. I hope this helps, please feel free to reach back out. I'm available to talk on Wednesdays from 4-7 PM. Best of luck! -Dylan from layla
Hello, my name is Layla. I wanted to thank you for reaching out!! I personally am in the exact same position right now; you are definitely not alone. When you have a relationship and things start feeling weird or just off, it definitely makes you think what did I do wrong or said something and that is totally normal because when you love someone and things feel off or failing apart, it is hard. I understand where you're coming from and being frustrated is okay. Missing how things used to be is totally normal. when you love or care about someone, it may be hard to know how to express how you are feeling because there could be a scare of " What if they are mad at me" or " Will they change how they feel about me" I wonder if you guys could sit down and have an honest conversation, you could express how you feel and then let them share how they feel. I know conversations like this can be difficult and honestly scary. I totally understand that feeling, I actually was just in this situation last week, I personally had to push myself to have a hard conversation. It was difficult. Thank you again for reaching out again. I hope everything goes well. I'm wishing the best for you. Teen Talk is open Monday-Thursday 4-9pm and Friday 4-7pm. If you would like to talk to me personally, I volunteer, Wednesdays 5-8pm -Layla 3/09/2026-Confused
Hello, I am not sure how to word or explain this. But I really wanted to figure something out. I have a boyfriend and never expected to do anything before the age of 18. However, the last time I saw him, my emotions took over and I was about to do something that felt right at the time, but I knew I couldn't. I'm just not sure anymore; I know I shouldn't, but when I'm with him, my mind isn't in the right place. Yes, he asked, "Are you certain?" I said yes... I consented; now I feel like an idiot. I am not sure anymore. I don't regret saying what I said because it seemed like a good idea at the time, and even if nothing happened, it could happen again. And I might say yes again... I am afraid. And we haven't discussed what happened. And I apologize for asking, and I understand that I can't pick and choose what you say, but I don't want to discuss this issue with him... because I don't want to talk about how I lost control of my emotions... I know I should, but I don't think it's that simple. I'm sorry; I know I rambled and it's all tangled, but that's how my thoughts are right now.
from marley
Hey! Thank you for reaching out, it can be nerve wracking every once in a while, so know you're appreciated for your courage. It's more than okay to experience something like you went through and feel anxious or uncertain about the situation. Intimacy, no matter the degree can feel scary and overwhelming, and you're more than in your right place to say that something feels off or that you're worried you could be pushed past something you're comfortable with in the moment. Confrontation is something that can be difficult too, and I more than understand where you might be coming from. It's not my place to tell you what you should do or say to your partner but if I can give you any advice it's to stick to your boundaries. It's clear your gut is telling you what you feel most comfortable with, even if it's hard to face, never stop listening to the voice inside of you that tells you something feels off. No matter how close you and your partner are, it's still okay to feel uneasy, and you shouldn't feel pressured to please or appease them (in any way) simply because you care for them. On another note, I hope this is somewhat helpful and that this finds you in better spirits! Marley from layla
Hello, I wanted to thank you for reaching out. I understand where you're coming from, having your emotions take over must be hard. I have not been in this situation before though so I wouldn't really know. Maybe you could like hangout in like a park or something maybe that would help? Like I said I'm honestly just brainstorming ideas. I do know what it's like to say something you may feel uncertain if you should of replied that way or said something. It's kind of hard because sometimes you don't really think about it fully before you speak, and it's totally normal. You definitely aren't alone in this. Don't be sorry, I'm so glad you reached out!! You aren't alone and deserve support. I really hope you find a way to handle things in a way that is safe and comfortable for you. I'm wishing you the best. stay strong. If you ever want to talk more, my name is Layla I volunteer Wednesdays 5-8 if you would like to chat. -Layla 🙂 from blair
Hi, I'm Blair! I first want to say that it is really brave of you to talk about this. So many teenagers feel really scared about bringing up sex/sexual behavior (I assumed this is what you are referring to, I apologize if I am wrong) in any kind of dialogue. I don't know your background with sex and what all your beliefs are around it, since that definitely plays a part in what exactly I'd say about the situation, but from what I know, I would first make sure to avoid shaming yourself. Sex is a normal part of life, and many people have feelings like yours. It also sounds like this is new ground for you and you're clearly confused about what to do, which is also normal and nothing to be ashamed of. My advice moving forward: Consent can be given and revoked at any time! It's not mean to your partner to revoke consent, and you can change your mind at any point. You're not an idiot. If you feel conflicted about it and you don't want situations like that to happen in the future, avoid situations where that could happen. Be out in public rather than alone with him. My final thing is talk about it. I know you said you don't want to, which is valid, I'd be nervous as well. But if you cannot talk about sex or sexual behavior, you probably shouldn't participate in sex or sexual behaviors. Being able to have a mature conversation is 100% necessary. Anyway, I appreciate you reaching out and I hope all goes well. I volunteer on Tuesdays 5-8 if you ever wanna talk! from dylan
Hi, thank you for reaching out! You're very brave to share what you're going through right now. This sounds like a very confusing situation to be in and I'm very sorry. It's completely normal to change your mind in situations like this, and you shouldn't feel like an idiot for expressing how you feel. I totally get why you wouldn't want to talk to about this with your boyfriend, it can definitely be a vulnerable conversation to have, but it may be beneficial for you to have a conversation about how you're feeling. This may help him understand how you're feeling and help you to both continue to prioritize safety and feeling comfortable in your relationship. I totally understand though if you really don't want to talk to him about this. I would also recommend talking about this situation with a trusted adult, so that they can help you to work through how you are feeling and potentially create a plan for how to prevent anything from happening if that's what you're wanting. A website I found that may help is the loveisrespect webpage, there are a couple of articles about& intimacy, safe sex, and respect that may help in this situation. Again, thank you for reaching out and please feel free to reach back out! I'm available to talk at Teen Talk on Wednesdays from 4-7pm. Dylan from wesley
Hey, thank you so much for reaching out! I've had some similar experiences, and I know how it feels to get caught up in the moment and say or do things that feel right at the time but end up second guessing it later. If you're not comfortable talking about it with him, are there any people in your life that you'd feel safe going to for advice about practicing safe sex or consent or something like that? Maybe a parent, school counselor, doctor, friend, or someone else that you trust? On the other hand though, if you're not comfortable talking to your partner about sex and stuff like that, I'm not sure if that's something you're ready for. It's important to be able to have those conversations and figure out boundaries and what you're comfortable with and what you're not. Another thing that I think might be helpful for you is to make more plans with him to spend more time together in public or with friends. I get that you're worried about it happening again, but if you spend most of your time together alone, chances are good it's gonna happen again, and I think it would be good to have some other people to help take some of that pressure off. It's nothing to be ashamed of and it's totally normal to have these feelings, but it's good to set limits and respect each other's boundaries. I hope this helped you at least a little bit, and I'm so glad that you were comfortable enough to share this. Please don't hesitate to reach out again! - Wesley from sage
Hey this is sage from teentalk, I want to say thank you for reaching out, I know it can be scary to talk and ask for advice on things like this so I am proud of you. When it comes to relationships, especially being a minor in a relationship I think it is important that you are talking with your partner as much as you can, but i also get that it can be scary for situations like the one you described. I want you to know that making a mistake in a relationship is okay, you're still young and have time to learn and grow from your mistakes as well, and if your boyfriend was consensual the whole way he is a good person and wants you to feel comfortable being with him. But i also want you to know that it is your body and your choice, if you think you messed up and regret what you did, it is your choice 100% if you want to do it again or wait until you feel ready. Your boyfriend should be understanding in your choice as your feelings for eachother are mutual, and when it comes to emotional factors of intimacy that is important as well. I want you to know that you're supported and were on your side here at teentalk and I wish you luck when it comes to you and your boyfriend for whatever obstacles you are going to face together. We're always here during the week from 4-7 if you ever feel like you want to talk to one of us live for more support and understanding. With love, Sage from chloe
Hey there thank you for reaching out, What is happening is tough. what it seems like is regrated consent, which is where consent is given but later feels remorse or guilt or even shame and while consent was given the emotional aspect can lead to regret afterwards. being afraid is totally okay. I know as a young adult its hard to talk about things like this with your partner but sometimes a conversation goes a long way even if its a little awkward at first. however that being said, you mentioned if it happened again you would say yes and that's totally okay to do. but before it happens think a for a minute and decide if you want to do it. while you consented that doesn't mean you have to consent again. communication in a relationship is really good to have not a lot of people have that so again while it may be awkward to have the conversation with him it might be good. you don't have to say that you lost control over your emotions but talk about the guilt because he's there to help you get through it. And having control over emotions can be difficult 100% and there's nothing wrong with that it takes practice. but please feel free to reach out xoxo, Chloe 12/23/25-My best friend
what do I do when my guy bestfriend has a gf but flirts with me and I've liked him for a while but I don't wanna ruin his relationship or our friendship?
from chloe
Hi there, I'm Chloe, I will say I have experienced this a few times- one time they were in a full-blown relationship with one of my friends, I get not wanting to ruin his relationship as well as your guy's friendship. But I also don't know him but maybe he is just a flirtatious person you know? As someone with a guy best friend I obviously liked him but that was back in like elementary school but that's just a phase I feel like every girl goes through when having a guy best friend. This is a sticky situation to be in because it's hard to know what to do because two things are at stake which you don't want to ruin. The advice I would give you is just kind of ignore the flirting if you can and just respond in a normal way. I wish I could give you more advice, but I don't really know the situation while I've delt with this kind of thing in the past every situation is different. |
