5/17/24 - Am I Weird
Am I weird for being gay and a male people think I’m a “femboy” because I paint my nails and that I’m gay
From Dahlia
Hi there! I am Dahlia. You are not weird for painting your nails or being gay. Despite your differences, you are still a human who deserves respect and kindness. There will be people who easily judge others based on appearances, but that has nothing to do with you or the other individuals being judged; you can't change the way people think if they are not willing to change their mindset. If you do not like to be called "femboy" or other terms being used against you, don't be afraid to let people know. Some people will be understanding while some others may not, but if you put boundaries when you get uncomfortable, you may find people who truly love you the way you are. Also, I understand how overwhelming it is to feel different or judged. I am constantly judged for my body, and it is mostly by my family members, but I have stopped caring about what they say because I know about myself better than them. If they bring up my body into a conversation my mom defends me as well. I believe that you will meet people who will see you for who you are and will be there for you whenever someone tries to judge you or make you uncomfortable. Treat yourself with kindness, and when you experience discomfort or judgment from others, don't assume that you are flawed as a result of their bad behavior. From Ash
Howdy!! I’m super happy to hear from you, and I can assure you that you’re not weird and that being gay is super normal :] Painting your nails is a super cool way to express yourself and add a pop of color to your outfits, I’m sorry to hear that people are being not great about it. I’d love to chat more with you when the phone lines open back up! <3 Ash From Bri
I think that however you identify is valid. If you feel feminine when you paint your nails, I love it and let’s be glam. Also, if when you paint your nails you feel tough and fierce and are adding to your masculinity I love that too. And you can feel both masculine and feminine while doing something or you might feel neither and it could be a neutral activity for you (like just a soothing exercise that’s part of your day). You get to decide how you feel on the inside but also how you express yourself and what that expression means to you. You’re under no obligation to fit any stereotypes people assume or try to push on you. I’ve known plenty of straight males who paint their nails. I’ve known plenty of gay males who paint their nails and still are very masculine. I don’t think painting nails no matter how you identify is weird because painting nails is honestly so fun and I love changing how my nails look. I just got some new nail polish recently and I am *obsessed*. It dries fast which is a lifesaver because I always mess mine up if time lets me hehe. What is your favorite color of nail polish?? I think mines probably a plush pink or white. Oh other fun fact, painting nails can help support nails that break a lot and can also help if you bite your nails. When I looked up other great reasons websites said other great reasons to paint your nails is: -they can provide vitamins and conditioners through modern day nail polish -can protect against fungus and bacteria -can convey that we have good hand hygiene https://orlybeauty.com/blogs/news/benefits-of-nail-polish# So honestly I don’t know why everyone isn’t painting their nails. Although I’m pretty bad about taking it off haha. But aside from all that, I want you to know I see you. And that whoever you are is okay and more than okay, because you’re truly extraordinary. Everything that you are is remarkable. Thank you so much for reaching out and I hope we can hear back from you again soon :) -Bri Thank you for reaching out! FROM ANNA
Hi! Thank
you for reaching out! I'm sorry you feel that way, but you are not weird at
all. It is tough to do so sometimes, but as long as you are doing what
makes you feel happy and comfortable, don't worry about what other people say!
I hope that you keep doing what makes you feel happy, and to try to ignore
those who make you feel weird. Painting nails is something that any gender can
do if they would like to, so don't let what other people say stop you from
doing the things you like. Have a great week! Anna From Kimberly
I am
a bit confused by the wording of your message. Are you suggesting that people
don't think "femboys" are males too? Nonetheless, no, you are not weird for painting your nails and being gay as a male. There is nothing wrong with that! Painting your nails doesn't harm anyone! If it makes you happy, go for it! Don't let the opinions of strangers be a barrier to your own fun 😁 -Kimberly From hailey
You’re not weird for being gay in fact it’s incredibly brave that you are out to the world next time people call you weird think to yourself that maybe they’re the weird ones - Hailey :) 04/27/2024 - WEIRD
People always find me weird because I’m bisexual and also male but I like painting my nails and wearing makeup I feel like I don’t fit in
FROM QUINN
hello, thanks for reaching out! it takes a lot of courage, so we really appreciate you! that sounds really awful, I'm not in the same situation exactly but i really relate that. i have been really lonely before, because no one was like me, and it is really hard and lonely and sad. but you cant let that change you because eventually you will find people like you and you will feel, good, happy and supported. my advice it to seek out environments where there are more of your people. some examples are any clubs at your school that you think would be nice, or your schools GSA, just be on the look out for things you can participate in! i for one don't think that weird at all! thanks for reaching out. Quinn FROM MAY
Hi! Thank you for reaching out. It's very brave of you to look for support. I'm sorry people find you weird for being bisexual. Personally, I think it's awesome that you embrace your identity and express yourself in the way you want. I love painting my nails and wearing makeup too. It sucks that people see you that way, and I know it must not feel great. Does your school have a GSA club? I think that could be a great outlet for you to make friends who identify similarly to you and have similar experiences as you. I'm sure it would be nice to meet some people who understand what you're going through. Another resource is Triple Point. They have groups for high schoolers and middle schoolers who identify as LGBTQ+. I've been there myself in the past and it's a great community. FROM MIA
Hey! Thanks for reaching out. I'm sorry that you're going through this right now, I know it must suck. But, I'm glad that you're staying true to your self and doing things that you want to do. I know that it must be tough having to deal with not feeling like you're fitting in, but that's okay! Many people feel like they don't. Just remember to stay true to your self. Other people's opinions don't matter as long as you're happy! FROM HEATHER
Hi, I really appreciate you reaching out to us! It takes a lot of strength to share your feelings with someone, you should be very proud of yourself. I'm sorry that people are making you feel that way. It sounds like you are having a rough time. I'm bisexual myself and I understand feeling like an outsider just because of your sexuality. I want you to know that your sexuality is valid and painting your nails and makeup is so much fun! Never let anyone discourage you from doing the things you love. This is your life and you deserve the right to be able to do things that make you happy. Finding some friends that are also LGBTQ+ is a great opportunity to find a group of people that you feel comfortable with. I hope you are surrounded by people that make you feel important and loved, you deserve it. I wish you the best of luck and remember that you are amazing just the way you are <3 I'm here Mondays 6-9pm if you'd like to talk! I hope you have an amazing day :) -Heather From Stella
As a member of the LGBTQ+ community myself, I completely understand feeling marginalized by others for your identity. I've been dealing with it for several years, and I can tell you it does get easier. You just have to learn to tune out others' voices, from time to time. Personally, I find a lot of joy and euphoria in wearing makeup, and I'm kind of past caring what others think about it. At the end of the day, the only opinion that matters is your own. The irony of this community is that fitting in doesn't really mean much. Historically speaking, the word 'queer' literally means 'different'. Being different is what makes us strong. I hope someday you can learn to embrace that. In the meantime, we're always here as a resource if you're feeling overwhelmed. Alternatively, the Trevor Project is also a free LGBTQ+ support line, open 24/7 by texting 'Start' to 678-678. Have a lovely day, and we're always here if you need somewhere to talk. <3 From Bri
Hello :) I am sorry to hear that you don't feel like you fit in. I like painting my nails and wearing makeup so I think that it is really cool that you do too. I am always really impressed by people who are good at painting nails because it can be very difficult to paint on curved surfaces like nails. And I really like genderbreads (a gender worksheet that you can find when you google it) because it shows you how fluid gender identity can be and even people that think that they are black and white in a category are often more on a spectrum of gender than they think. I can see how difficult it could be to not feel like your identity. You are completely valid and you deserve to feel apart of. from f
Hey!! Thank you for contacting TeenTalk, I appreciate your message and I know how difficult it can be to reach out for advice - It's perfectly normal to feel like you don't fit in especially when relating to harder topics to discuss like sexuality. I may not be in your shoes but I can understand to some degree how hard it must be to feel like you don't fit in or like you're not meeting the 'status quo'. I hope you know that it's perfectly normal to paint your nails and wear makeup and I hope you continue to do so in the future regardless of others input. I hope you consider continuing to reach out in the future, I would love to hear from you again. From DAVID
Hi! My name is David and I want to first thank you for reaching out. I know that requires a lot of bravery. I understand where you are coming from and I hope you remember that your identity is your identity and no one else's. You are unique and you are you and you don't have to do anything anyone tells you to do or be. It's really cruel and unfortunate that people judge you for who you are and sometimes that's just how the world works but I really want you to know that you are a brave and wonderful person who is accepted and loved. Maybe if your schools has GSA or LGBTQ+ club you can join that or find some clubs in your community where you can find people that respect who you are and respect your choices and personality. Make sure to be true to yourself and don't change because of what others say because you being you is enough. From Hailey
Hey thanks for contacting us it takes a lot to reach out about this kind of stuff, the biggest thing i can say about this situation is that you aren't weird for being you and next time youre feeling like you dont fit in just think to yourself maybe their the weird ones from eric
Hey, thank you for reaching out! I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing that from other people, but remember that your uniqueness is your strength. Embracing your individuality can be challenging, especially when others don't understand or accept it. I would try to find some supportive communities that you feel truly accepted and welcomed. Remember to stay true to yourself no matter what. from jon
Thanks for contacting us. I'm sorry that some people make you feel like you cannot fit in. Know that you deserve to feel comfortable as who you are, and there is nothing wrong with how you want to express yourself. There are groups, such as an LGBTQ+ club that could be at your school, that would be more than happy to let you be yourself. No matter who you are, there are people who will make you feel like you fit in, and I think you will find that support system! from ash
Hi there! I’m sorry that people are making you feel weird for expressing yourself or having a different sexuality than the norm. I think it’s super cool that you do your own makeup and nails, that’s a skill I haven’t managed to get the hang of yet! I don’t know a way to break down societal expectations around gender, but you deserve to not be judged for your appearances. I’d love to talk more with you on text/social media/call! <3 Ash from jen
I’m sorry that people are making you feel like you don’t fit in. It sucks that people are judging you for being bisexual and for the way you express yourself. Honestly I think it’s lit when guys wear nail polish or makeup. It’s a cool vibe and I personally don’t think it’s weird at all. I think you’re cool. I wish people didn’t think you were weird for that since it’s only a little part of who you are. I can relate slightly since People think I’m really weird too and as I’ve gotten older I’ve started to kind of appreciate it in a way. To me I just thought I was weird and not normal…but I’ve had people tell me that they wish they could be themselves more openly like how I am. It’s not always easy and sometimes I’m just ridiculously socially awkward but at the end of the day I’m weird and socially awkward but I’m happier livin my life trying to be myself. I think you sound like a great person and I hope you can see that in yourself. And standing out can be really scary and I think it’s a really brave thing that you express yourself in the way you want to even if it makes you not fit in. Maybe you are helping people without even realizing it to see that they can be brave like you. I’m really glad you reached out and I hope that I could be of some help. If you ever want to talk about it I’m Jen and there are also so the other awesome volunteers who would be happy to chat. From DAHLIA
Hi! I'm Dahlia. I don't think you're weird at all. There will always be people in this world who judge others because they lack empathy and kindness, and they think they know someone only by seeing their outter appearance. If you like to paint your nails and do your makeup that is okay. Don't let other humans hurt you or make you feel less than though, you are just as important even if others make you feel left out. Also, in South Korea a lot of men kpop stars use makeup, and it looks really nice on them! From KIMBERLY
Hi, this is Kimberly. Thanks for reaching out! I know it takes courage. I'm a little bit confused by the wording of your message. Just to clarify, are people not being inclusive to you because you're bisexual and like doing those things? If that's the case, I'm sorry that's happening to you. I personally have no experience with being in the LGBQ community myself, but I do know that a sense of belonging is a basic human need, and it is definitely valid to crave it. I hope that your social life is able to improve, and that you're doing well now. Please feel free to reach out! My shifts are on Fridays, 4-7 PM. -Kimberly 01/16/2024 - BISEXUAL
I’m bisexual and I just came out to my father as bisexual and all he said was your full of crap and dosent believe that I’m bisexual when it’s clearly true and I Already told my mother that I’m bisexual and she’s fine with it and it hurts to know my father dosent believe me
From Bri
First of all thank you for messaging and wow I admire how brave you are. That takes some serious courage to be true to yourself and speak your truth and I am just such a huge fan right now. I am so glad that your mom was able to accept you and that you have that source of support. I am sorry you're hurting so much though, having someone not believe you can sometimes feel even worse than having a "good" or "bad" response. I feel like being dismissed can be really difficult because when you're coming out most people want to feel seen and that is the farthest from it. However, I really hope that your dad comes around and maybe that was just his gut reaction of being caught off guard. Have you talked since that happened? Maybe your mom might be willing to talk to him about it and help explain it to him. I really hope things get better once he's had a little bit of time to think about it a bit more. And again, congratulations for putting yourself out there, I am so excited for you and for being you because you is pretty great. From Kimberly
Thank you for reaching out again! I appreciate the updates, and am here to help. I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope that things are going better by the time you receive this message. I don't think there is much that could be done to change your father's mind, but perhaps there's ways to gain more insight into where he's coming from, if that's something you'd be curious about. Maybe you could try having a discussion about it and ask him some questions. Is it a religious belief? Was he raised to think that way? Has he had negative experiences with bisexual people in the past? Another potential factor that might be playing a role in your father's opinion about you, could be your age. Of course, I don't know what that would be, nor would I ask, but it is important to be mindful of the fact that the younger you are, the less important others may view your sexuality. To clarify, I am not saying that you are invalid. What I am saying is that your sexual and dating preferences could likely be not as relevant to your life as they would be to an older person, simply because dating and sex is typically not something that younger teenagers or children are all too involved in. Young minors are typically not seen as very sexually active or relationship-experienced people. So, maybe that could be contributing to your dad's opinion. Or, maybe another factor could be your past dating experiences. If you've never dated, or haven't dated much before, your dad may be confused as to how you would know your own dating or sexual preferences enough to declare yourself as bisexual without much experience with both sexes. It is a concept that does take a lot of self-exploration. I'm not quite sure what to say here, because your father's opinion sounds pretty unchangeable. But I hope that maybe you guys will be able to have a productive discussion about it, and that you can still have support from him in other areas of your life. Hope this helps! :) Sincerely, Kimberly From May
Hi! I'm May. I'm so glad you wrote to us. That sounds like a really hard situation. I'm sorry your dad feels that way. It's very understandable that you would be upset about how he reacted, your feelings are valid and it's okay to feel that way. Ultimately, the only opinion that really matters is your own. Just because your dad expressed that he doesn't believe that you're bisexual doesn't mean that it's true. If you have any friends that also identify as LGBTQ+, I think it would be great for you to connect with them and share your story with them. If you don't, there is a group called Triple Point that I think you would enjoy. They have groups for high school students and middle school students who identify as a part of the LGBTQ+ community and it is a great way to make friends and connect with people. If you want to talk more, I'm here Wednesdays from 4-7, and other volunteers are here throughout the week 4-9 Monday to Thursday and 4-7 on Fridays. Here is more information on Triple Point: https://www.facebook.com/VancouverTriplePoint/ From David
Hi my name's David and I want to thank you for reaching out. I know that takes a lot of bravery and I appreciate it. I'm also really sorry to hear that you're going through this situation but you should know how brave you are that you were even able to tell your parents. A lot of people can't go that far and even though you might have known how your father would feel you still told him which is remarkable. Your father may just need some time to understand who you are and that you might not fit into the vision he has created. A lot of parents imagine their children doing certain things or being certain things but that doesn't always happen and thats ok. If you feel comfortable, you could consider having a calm and honest conversation with your father about your feelings and experiences. Share your perspective and try to express how important it is for you to have his understanding and acceptance. You can also reach out to a counselor or therapist if you need more help. again I want to thank you for reaching out and I hope things go well with your father in the future! From ASH
Hi there. I’m really sorry to hear that coming out to your father didn’t go well. You don’t deserve to have such an important part of your identity dismissed and demeaned, especially by a parent. Your feelings are completely valid, it’s genuinely heart wrenching to face that sort of betrayal from someone you love. You are very strong for persevering, and I’m proud of you. I and all the other volunteers here at TeenTalk would love to chat over message or call if you ever want to talk through your feelings in more depth, and we’re always happy to respond to more Ask Peppy’s from you :] <3 Ash FROM A
Hello, thank you for reaching out! I just want to start of with telling you how brave you are for coming out to your father, even though things didn't turn out how you hoped. In the end, it still must have taken a lot of courage for you to share that with him. I'm sorry to say that I don't know if much can be done to change your father's opinion if he is dead set on his views. If you're comfortable with talking with your mother about how your father's reaction has impacted you, perhaps she can help in offering some close support. Something that could be a factor to your father's reaction could his lack of knowledge on the topic, or a lack of perspective. Both of which are not your fault and does not justify any hurtful words he's said to you. All in all, you should be proud of who you are! And I hope that things get better for you. From Eric
Thank you for reaching out. I'm sorry to hear that that happened. I would maybe try asking your mom to talk to your dad about the situation and try to get him to understand you. Also try to give him some time, he may just need it to understand. From Dahlia
Hello, thank you for sharing this even though this situation must feel frustrating for you. It took a lot of courage for you to come out, so be kind to yourself and do not believe the hurtful things people might say of you because of your identity. Your father probably just wants to deny that you are bisexual, and instead of accepting it he let out his confusion and anger at you. Despite this, I am glad your mother is okay with your identity because it can get lonely if it feels nobody is trying to understand you. With time your father might accept your identity, but if he doesn't it is not your fault. I hope your father will continue to show love and support for you even if he might feel frustrated right now. Please reach out to let us know if anything in the situation changes. We are here for you. From Anna
Thank you so much for reaching out again. I am sorry to hear that, but you are so courageous and brave for coming out to your father. I am really glad that your mother believes you. Depending on what you want to do next and what you are comfortable with, you could possibly talk to your father about it with your mother accompanying you for some extra support? Please don't let any of your father's words get to you, and I hope he becomes more understanding soon - it is possible that he might need some time to process things. Another thing you could also possibly try is to talk to your mother about your father's reaction and see if she would be able to offer any insights about how best you could talk to your father about things? Again, you are already doing amazing and I hope that everything works out! From Stella
I'm really sorry to hear that your father isn't accepting of you. As a part of the LGBTQ+ community myself, I understand on a personal level what it feels like not to be supported by your own family, and it really really sucks that you have to endure that. My parents weren't accepting either when I came out to them, so I completely understand where you're coming from. You definitely aren't alone. Something I personally found extremely helpful during that time in my personal journey was attending meetings for my school's pride club. I would highly recommend doing a little research, and seeing if your school has something similar. It can really help when we're in periods of self discovery like this to have like-minded people around you. Developing a support system is one of the most productive things you can do in terms of taking care of your mental health. Coming from someone who's gone through your exact predicament, I can tell you that it gets better. I know it doesn't feel like it will, but with time, it will. You just have to wait a little bit. We're always here if you need some additional support, or want to reach out and talk. Have a lovely day <3 From Mia
Hello! Thank you for writing to us. I'm sorry that your father does not believe that you are bisexual. That must be difficult to hear after being vulnerable and I am sorry for that. Maybe sitting down with him and talking about it could help? I know it sounds scary, but maybe it could give him more insight on you and who you are. Of course, you know your father better than I do, so the choice is up to you. Don't hesitate to reach out to us! We hope to hear from you. 12/06/2023 - BI
I’m nervous to tell my father I’m bisexual and I’ve already told my mother and my two sisters that I am they were ok with it but my parents are divorced and i think my dad will be upset at me because I’m bisexual I’m nervous about coming out as bisexual to my family I feel like they will see me as a disappointment.
fROM eRIC
Hey, thank you so much for reaching out. It's completely normal to feel nervous about coming out, especially when it involves sharing such personal information with family members. It's important to remember that everyone's reaction can be different, and your experience with your mother and sisters suggests that there is understanding and acceptance within your family. When talking to your dad be honest and open about your feelings, and express that you value your relationship with him. However be prepared that sometimes people just need some time to adjust to the situation. From Dahlia
Hello, thank you for sharing this even though it makes you nervous. Sharing your identity can be difficult. I had a friend who was overwhelmed when telling her family her identity; but they ended up being supportive of her. I know this isn't always the case with everyone and their families, but people who love you will look past your identity, even if it might be shocking to them. Your mom and two sisters were okay with you being bi, so even if your father seems bothered by your identity I hope that having support from your mom and two sisters makes you feel less alone. While you think about coming out to your family remember to take care of yourself. You are not a disappointment; you are a person who has brought happiness into other people's live's, even if you may not know it. I hope you take care of yourself during this time, and I hope that there will always be people in your life who appreciate you for who you are; that way, you can be comfortable and remember that you deserve love and kindness. If you decide to tell your father please reach out to Teentalk again and let us know how it went. We hope the best for you. From Anna
Hi, I know that sharing these things can be difficult, and thank you for reaching out. I am happy that your mother and two sisters are okay with you being bi, maybe you can talk to them to gain some insight into how your dad might react and figure out the best way to come out to him? No matter what happens, please remember that you deserve love and appreciation, and that you are not a disappointment. I am rooting for you, and please do not hesitate to reach out in the future! From QUINN
Hi, my name is Quinn. Thanks so much for reaching out, it takes a lot of bravery to do that! I understand how stressful it can be to come out to family, and I’m so happy for you that your mom and sisters are accepting. If your think that your father is going to get upset if you tell him, then I would either not tell him, or create a plan for doing it, and you could include you mom in this. Like you could tell him in a public setting, on a call, or with your mom, or anyone that you would like to support you. And also what you would do if he does not react well like where you would stay, or how you would navigate that. I don’t know your situation so I can’t tell you what would happen, but it’s good to be prepared especially since you think he would get upset. You could probably find some clues in how he talks about lgbtq+ people regularly, if you are unsure about how he feels. Also know that your worth is not attached to how other people think of you, if he thinks you’re a disappointment, then that’s on him, not your fault. I really hope it goes well for you! If you want to talk more than you can call us, our number is 13603972428, and I’m here Monday 4-7! - Quinn From Kimberly
Hello, I'm Kimberly! Thank you for reaching out, I'm here to listen and I know it must take a lot of courage to contact a random stranger on a support line to talk about what's going on. Although I personally don't have firsthand experience of what it'd be like to be in that position because I have always been straight myself, I sympathize with your story, and I hope you're able to experience a positive outcome. That does sound very nerve-wracking, and it's okay to feel that way. I noticed you mentioned that your mom and sisters said that they were okay with it. I'm not sure what your household situation is like, but perhaps you could try having a family meeting with all of them, because then you'd have the support of your other family members there to help you out in case your dad starts getting upset. What makes you believe that your dad would see you as a disappointment? Has he said or done anything explicitly homophobic? Is he part of a religion that doesn't support gay or bisexual people? How does he feel about your teenage dating and relationships in general? What do you think the conversation with him would be like? What would you plan to say? If there's a lot and you're feeling overwhelmed about remembering it all, maybe you could jot down some bullet points on a notecard. To help ease your nerves about speaking with him, perhaps you could roleplay with a friend or supportive family member, practicing what you plan to say ahead of time. If he does turn out to be upset with you, how severe would the consequences be? Do you think you could talk it out and remain on peaceful terms, despite disagreeing on your views about sexual orientations? If you were able to talk it out, what would you say? Sometimes it's easy for our brains to get more worked up about situations than they should. This is not to say that your feelings are invalid or blown out of proportion, but just a friendly reminder that sometimes in life, things may turn out better than we'd expect them to. Are you on good terms with your dad? If so, then it'd actually be pretty unlikely for him to stop respecting you simply over just that personal aspect of your life- unless he's blatantly very homophobic. But then again, I don't know much about your situation or what he is like, so I can't say much about that. Another thing you could possibly do is ask him what he thinks about a friend or other person you know who is bisexual, if that's applicable. What he thinks of other people being bisexual may give you some helpful clues for what he might think about your own bisexuality. Thank you for reaching out, I hope this helps! I wish you the best of luck, and I'd love to hear back from you, if you are comfortable. Sincerely, Kimberly From I
Hi there! Thank you for messaging us, it can be difficult to verbalize and talk to someone about your struggles and emotions. I'm really glad that things went well with your Mom and siblings! Coming out is scary, especially when you don't know how family will react. I don't know your father, so I can't be sure how he'll react. You could try writing a letter to him coming out, explaining your concerns and worries about how he'll react. This will give the both of you space to process and react. But waiting or choosing not come out at all are options as well! You're in a tricky situation and sometimes the best option is to wait until you have more information. You're always welcome to call/message/text us and talk through your feelings, or just about how your day is going. I hope that everything goes well, and you're able to figure things out. <3 I 10/05/2023 - How do I know if i'm trans?
For over a year, I've thought that i'm transgender, but I don't want to make an assumption before i'm sure. For feedback purposes, I am under 16 years old and I believe i'm FTM. I've always had better boy friends than girl and I hate how my chest and body looks. I've had people use he/him pronouns on me and it makes me feel better about myself. If i were to come out and then say i'm wrong, that would be really awkward.
From Mia
Hello! Thank you for writing to us. I understand that this must be confusing for you to be going through. Remember that you don't have to have everything figured out yet. You still have time to get to know yourself. Don't be too hard on yourself. Do what will make you happy in the moment! Thank you for reaching out! If you would like to talk about this more. don't hesitate to reach out! From Dahlia
Hi there. Thank you for sharing. I know it must feel overwhelming and confusing to feel these things. Remember that the people here at Teentalk care for you no matter what. Questioning your identity is something that can be really confusing. I saw a testimony about a transgender person a few weeks ago and they said that it is important to find the root of why you believe you are trans or why you aren't comfortable in your own body. Despite what you decide, you are loved. Please feel free to share with us what you decide if you feel comfortable doing so. We are here for you. From Bri
Hi there :) What a good question :) I think this question is so absolutely valid. Have you ever heard of the gender-bread? Its a worksheet: https://www.publichealthpost.org/databyte/genderbread-person/ Society really teaches us that gender as "definite" but in reality, things are more on a spectrum. The first part of the genderbread person is "identity" and thats how manly or womanly you feel on the inside. And then the second one is your gender expression as how feminine or masculine you feel, and that is how you present to others and how your dress/demeanor/etc. comes across. And then the next one is biological sex and while that may sound straightforward to some, but in reality there are people with both genitalia (who are described as intersex), there are people with both male and female genetics, there are people who have different amounts of female or male physical traits. And then there is who you are sexually or romantically attracted to on the genderbread worksheet as well. It can be really difficult when you are soul search to figure out where you fit on that genderbread. I also want you to know that it is totally okay to come out and evolve in how you identify. There are also people who identify as gender fluid and one moment could feel on one part of the spectrum and then another moment they could be the complete opposite and that is okay. Hopefully you are able to make sure you stay safe if you choose to come out. Another great resource in the community is called Triple Point and they offer support groups in a non-descript location and they are a really great support for as you are processing this. I am so glad you reached out and I hope you check back in so we know how things are going for you :) From David
It's completely okay to have the feelings and thoughts you're experiencing and you're really brave for reaching out! Figuring out your gender identity is pretty complex and it's totally normal to have uncertainties and nervousness. You should be able to explore your gender identity without pressure or judgment. You could take the time to explore yourself. Your thoughts, feelings, and what you want to be. If you want you can talk with a trusted friend, adult or counselor. If you're really struggling I'd recommend reaching out for professional help from a therapist or doctor you can trust. People who really support you will be ok with your decision, whatever it is. You can't really be "wrong" about these things because it's about you! |
